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Macam mana nak ada rasa cinta dekat husband?
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nampak sgt betapa tak berkesannya kursus kawin korang pi sampai 2 hari... still balik ke asal, nafkah share2... mcm bapok jah |
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Sabar je lah tt..ko sendiri pon dr awal dah manjakan sgt laki ko..skang dia dh terbiasa susah nak ubah dia.kalau ko brani..amik cuti tanpa gaji jah pastu rasa jap broke agak2 dia nk sara ko x? |
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Maybe my expectation high la kot plus i jenis independent..Well, I guess I kene lower down my expectation and respect him more..And i hope bila i dah respect dia the love will come (or not?) haha..After all marriage is about commitment and sometimes I baca and observe parents who stay in marriage pon because of children and malas dah nak pk pasal cintan cintun ni..
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Yup..tawar hati sebab pendam!I ni jenis malas nak bising2 sbb kalau i mengamuk mmg dia pon akan naik tocang jugak..so i malas nk bising2 i baya je la..Yang berkira tu my dad..Kira husband ni nak ikut jejak my dad retire awal tp ada duit sejuta..Mungkin husband i nk tido dalam kubur kot dengan duit tu (kadang-kadang i geram sgt i ckp kat dia mcm ni)..
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Thank you for the advice  Yup..4 years marriage mmg still young and fragile..I hope I boleh tahan n retain the marriage.
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dengan org berkira, ko kena berkira jgk
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Hahaha..give me five.. sama ek hasben kita..Kwn i cakap juga her mother akan mintak rm2k every month untuk anak2 n groceries.. I ckp wow..I pnah mintak hasbEn i 1k untuk groceries and anak dia ckp tayah..bia dia klua duit beli brg ngn baya anak sbb dia kata tau la dia bajet (tanak bini dia simpan baki la tu)..haha..But haritu I ada bincang dengan dia untuk enroll my son masuk swimming class n yuran i nk dia bayar dia mcm terkelat2 juga tp dia agree la..
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Well, i penah ckp dekat my husband i nk jadi housewife..so bia i jaga anak..dia ckp ok jer tp kereta satu kene jual and i tak boleh mintak macam2..Baju ker, makanan kene terima seadanya dan takde vacation..I yang dah biasa jadi career woman ni mmg bila dia ckp mcm tue tak payah la..Kang tiba2 i teringin nak beli chocolate chip kat famous amous after works kene tunggu dia pulak..
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tula..i ni anak first so dah rasa biasa pegang tanggungjawab pastu i tak suka tengok hasben i sesak..I kesian..Biasala awal2 kahwin org cakap berat sama dipikul so i mmg willingly tak kesah..Haritu pon lepas I tanak bayar dah susu anak and nurseri baru dia cakap sesak jugak ek nak baya 600 sebulan untuk anak..I ckp baru tahu ke?
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I dah awal-awal cakap dengan my boyfriend, I have this certain standard of living that I am used to. If he wants me and he thinks that I am worthy enough, then he needs to adhere to that standard to have me. Nak menambah boleh, turunkan standard tu I taknak. He still sticks around and he knows what he is getting into. Rata-rata orang cakap I am demanding, but I don't care. It will be my life anyway. Baik la terus-terang dengan the guy dari awal. If he stays then he is up for the challenge, if he doesn't then it is still okay. I am leading a happy life anyway with or without a man by my side
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before ada anak u still sayang ur husband ke?
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kalau time period kira putus ke tak tahajud tu?
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Edited by elle_april at 6-7-2015 10:44 PM
for me i cant marry someone im not in love with, someone i just 'like', someone yang 'can do'.. i tak tau apa rasa kena hadap lelaki yang i anggap biasa dan tak cinta pun.
Dulu i pernah couple with a guy yg memang cukup semua, and he loves me like crazy tapi the feelings werent mutual. Nak cuba suka pun tak boleh. Last2 tinggalkan je lah.
Tapi maybe im too naive or hopeless romantic, bersyukur ada jugak jodoh yg ada mutual feelings. Tapi kalau case macam u ni, i rasa orang akan anggap problem u remeh sebab they're facing bigger problems like suami curang, mak mertua dera mentally, macam2 lagilah masalah dunia.
But as for me, kalau dah tak ada feelings, tak tau macam mana nak ada kan balik feelings tu. Tak reti nak paksa. Macam mana nak bagi suka kalau ada je benda dia buat tak kena? Kedekut for a guy is one thing yang buat jadi makin TURN OFF. Nak try suka because he's nice, he's caring and so on tapi bila sampai bab kedekut je terus turn off. Tak jadi nak suka. Susah dia nak ubah unless u always remind him.
I dont know how some people can hide their salary slip from their own spouse.. Dah kahwin patut there's no secret lagi2 kalau dia yang sayang kita lebih dan beria nak kat kita. Macam mana dia boleh nak sorok slip sebab takut kita tau gaji dia lagi besar? If dia sorok slip means dia boleh tipu benda2 lain jugak and kalau I, it's hard for me to trust him. Maybe I pulak yang akan tipu my own salary dan cakap gaji i ciput je so dia akan keluar lebih belanja.
Maybe for some people not having a feeling for your spouse is not a big deal asalkan tak curang atau jadi biawak hidup but for me, it's important.. it will eat your feelings inside.. entah. How to feel happy? You deserve it too right?
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takutnya dengar.. mintak jauh lah jadi mcm tu..
maybe ur mom dah kerja so ada duit sendiri so bila ur dad kedekut pun ur mom ada duit sendiri nak spend
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Author |
Post time 7-7-2015 01:11 AM
From the mobile phone
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elle_april replied at 6-7-2015 10:04 PM
before ada anak u still sayang ur husband ke?
I know it sounds cliche..i sayang my husband tp i tak cintakan dia..you can get the picture tak ek? |
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Author |
Post time 7-7-2015 01:23 AM
From the mobile phone
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elle_april replied at 6-7-2015 10:22 PM
for me i cant marry someone im not in love with, someone i just 'like', someone yang 'can do'.. i ...
I blame myself for just continue even though my inner feeling said i can't..i can just walk out while im still engage with him but i couldnt cause im not that bold n strong..my parents and his parents pride i kena jaga since my mom and his mom are in same ministry but different department..i pujuk hati i restu ibu bapa is very important and mane tau after nikah the falling in love with him will come..tapi tak dtg!
Thank you for understanding my situation..untuk org lain mmg remeh sbb ala takde feeling kat laki bini normal la tue right..Tapi, untuk myself it almost choking me inside..I tanya my colleague ade tak dia rasa mcm i rasa dgn husband dia and she said takde pon..kira hidup mati cinta mati dgn hasben.. you dah kahwin ke elle?
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Author |
Post time 7-7-2015 01:30 AM
From the mobile phone
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fairy_fairy replied at 6-7-2015 09:43 PM
I dah awal-awal cakap dengan my boyfriend, I have this certain standard of living that I am used t ...
Good that you dah letak that particular standard and guidelines..If i know about this kind of picture earlier mmg i akan ckp dekat my husband before we get married whether he willingly or not! I wish may you have a very enjoyful loving and happy marriage |
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Thank you sis. Most of my opinions are based on the closest marriage I have seen which is my parents'. Susah sama-sama, senang sama-sama, sihat sama-sama and sakit pun sama-sama. Cuma my dad has passed away 8 years ago. Seeing how they were until my dad passed away, made me realize that I want a man with the same qualities I have seen in my dad. Thus the standard I set. I agree with Elle for not marrying a person just because of a mere 'like'. For me, a deeper feeling needs to be present because this is the person you will want to live with for the rest of your lives together. How could you do that if sekarang pun you dah ada rasa menyampah dengan dia?
I'm older than you but yet to experience marriage but what I do know is, you need to voice out your dissatisfaction to your husband. The way you said it, bukannya he cannot afford you and HIS kid, but he chose not to do so because he knows at the end of the day, you will do it on his behalf. A real man will not allow a woman to shoulder his responsibilities unless he really is unable to do so. Benda ni I dengar sendiri from my dad, my brother, my cousins' husbands, my friends who are the breadwinners of their families. So, have an open heart to heart talk with him. Duit tu selagi kita tak guna for ourselves, belum tentu jadi kepunyaan kita. Lagipun you two are husband and wife and must be able to share stuff. Sometimes I do wonder how is it possible for a man and wife to share the most intimate of relationship within the sanctity of a marriage and yet they cannot discuss about these matters regarding the responsibilities of a husband. So talk to him and remind him of his responsibilities and give him time to change his ways. IF he still doesn't change, well up to you then. You merely just sayang him, you're still young and you can stand on your own two feet, so what's there to wait? All the best sis!
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astaga, nama pon uzur, mmg la xleh solat awk...abes period sambung je balek....
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tetiba rs besyukur sgt dpt somi mcm somi aku...
tp ttp ade tp kann.....sikap pemurah tu terlampau kdg memakan diri....aku plak yg kene jd hajjah bakil...haihh....
bkn bekira...tp sebab laki aku xreti manage duit...seme yg ade kalo bleh nak bg org...aku plak leteh...
to tt...sila slow talk..bincang ati ke ati....xpun sebelom dier nak ML tu ckp laa apa patot...org kata time dier nak ML ko mintak laa apa pun seme dpt...tp siap sign laa itam putih takot dier back balik pada asal kan...
memula masa ML tu mintak laa sikit2...contoh mcm skang xde periuk nasik..mintak laa periuk nasik kat dier...esok lusa dier nak ML lg..mintak plak menda2 lain...lama2 penoh dah rumah..kot laa jadi taktik ni kan...pe pun xrugi kalo kiter mencuba...
org laki ni...kalo dier tgk kiter bleh bg seme menda yg sepatotnya dier bg maka dier punya haji bakhil tu bleh cecah burj khalifa...maka sila laa berperanan stat dr skang ni...degil sgt bg kata 2 je...abis citer.... |
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Post time 6-7-2015 01:14 PM
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