Mrs. Parker and Baroness Von Hildebrand

zazazoom · Post time 20-9-2020 11:23 PM

There's this woman, let's call her Mrs. Parker. She is on a flight from Frankfurt to London. She's tired, she's had a long day. She gets on the plane, goes to her seat in economy class, window seat. She makes herself comfortable and tries to get some sleep.

Another woman comes and sits next to her. The other woman looks a bit odd, too much makeup, too much jewelry, too much cosmetic surgeries, you know, too much Botox, too much lip fillers. Anyway. Mrs. Parker and the lady exchange greetings and the flight takes off.

As Mrs. Parker is just about to doze off, the other lady elbows her a little bit.

"Excuse me" the woman says, "I didn't even introduce myself. My name is Baroness Von Hildebrand."

Mrs. Parker looks at her and says, "Uh, my name is Mrs. Parker, it's very nice meeting you Miss, Mrs... uh"

"Baroness."

"Oh, sorry, Baroness" And Mrs. Parker tries to sleep again.

A minute goes by and she's elbowed again.

The baroness says, "You know it's the first time I'm actually sitting in economy class. First time in my life. I've always been a first-class passenger. But today, somehow, First class is full and I really needed to be on this plane. So, here I am in economy class. To be honest, it's not too bad. I mean, I'm sitting here with the masses, with the little people, and, you know, it's nice."

Mrs. Parker looks at her and says, "Well that's very nice, very nice." and she tries to sleep again.

Not a full minute goes by and she's elbowed again.

"By the way, you know, I'm only in this lack of luxury for this short flight to London. As soon as we arrive, my chauffeur will be waiting for me in my limousine. And I will be back in the luxuries of life that I've always known. I can't wait for that to happen."

Mrs. Parker looks on and says, "Well that's very nice. Very nice. But, I really need to get some sleep." and she tries to sleep again

Another minute goes by and she's elbowed again.

"Do you know why I'm able to afford all these luxuries of life? It's because of my husband. My husband is the CEO of one of the top 100 companies in the world. He makes no less than a hundred million dollars a year on any given year, and so we live a wonderful, fantastic, luxurious life, every single day of our lives."

Mrs. Parker looks at her and says "uh, well... very nice, very nice." And tries to sleep again

Some few seconds later.

"And by the way, do you have children? Mrs...? I forgot your name."

"Mrs. Parker. Yes, I've got one son. He works in a grocery store right now. He's trying to--"

"Yeah, well, you know, I've got two sons. My two sons are the most wonderful sons, the most wonderful kids any parent could dream of having. They're handsome. They're healthy. They're smart. They're both in their early 20s, and they're already making so much money. I love them so much, the best children in the world."

Mrs. Parker looks at her and says: "Oh, very nice, very nice." and tries to get some sleep again.

"By the way, I'm on vacation. This holiday started in Thailand. I went to Thailand, spent two wonderful weeks there. Then went to Bali for another two beautiful weeks, then went to the Caribbean for another two weeks, and finally went to Austria and Germany where I attended the opera and saw the most wonderful pieces of music, ballet, and opera."

"Oh, well, that's very nice, very nice. But, I really should get some sleep now." says Mrs. Parker.

"This whole trip that I've done, this whole vacation, this whole holiday, was paid for by my husband. It was a gift for my birthday. Every year he tries to get me a better gift. What did your husband buy you for your last birthday?"

So, Mrs. Parker looks at her and says, "Well, we are of limited means, but for my last birthday, my husband paid for me to take some English classes."

"English classes?! That's ridiculous! How cheap! Why would he buy you English classes? You're English, you speak English! It doesn't make any sense. Did you even learn anything from those classes?"

Mrs. Parker says "Well, actually I did. Those classes have been quite beneficial to me. It's improved the way I speak quite a lot. For instance, before going to those english classes, I used to say 'go fuck yourself' quite a lot..."

"...but now I say 'very nice'."