How u deal with this kind of situation

OraNewID

Salam and hi to all,

I'm asking as a parent.

Ok.. ur children are taking a trip with ur spouse... let say it's 3 days and 2 nights trip..  while they were on the trip, ur spouse called and confessed that he/she just beaten one of ur kid due to his/her short temper. U were angry but ur spouse didn't sound that he/she regret it either...

Then when your kids come back.. u found some bruises on ur kid's arm.. what would u do??

manakautau

Originally posted by OraNewID at 25-8-2008 05:12 PM
Salam and hi to all,

I'm asking as a parent.

Ok.. ur children are taking a trip with ur spouse... let say it's 3 days and 2 nights trip..  while they were on the trip, ur spouse called and ...

Parenting board...........

OraNewID

Well... I think this could be in Family Discussion becoz the situation involve ur spouse...

obviously this topic didn't attract anyone... maybe since this topic didn't have hot issues such as "curang", "poligami" or "madu" in it...

but doesn't anyone have any idea what would they do if they have to deal with this kind of situation??

kudajantan77

orang dulu2 kate selagi tk patah takpe .. tapi org skrg rasenye kene jentik pun boleh jadi kes saman ..

maza

aaderkk, mcm nie pun boleh jadi problem ker.....hmm

org zaman skrg!!?



'SAYANG ANAK DI TANGAN-TANGANKAN"...

Sayang tak bermakna biarkan dan manjakan selalu serta mengabaikan yg baik dan jahat, tetapi lebih utk memenuhi napsu si anak aje....

hahahhaha.....

Hana

misti la anak2 tu ada buat salah..sbb tu dipukul.
tak kan ler org yg normal suka suka hati ajer nak pukul tanpa sebab.
lain ler spouse tu ada tanda2 gila..or emosi terkurang or disahkan oleh doktor dia tu sakit jiwa..itu mmg laa kot..

org2 penah ckp.. kalau tak penah pukul anak..one day..anak tu akan "pukul" kita balik.

~ oh ya..ini pendapat org yg lom ada anak..mmg ler bias sket..~

MrsJohn

Beaten the kids due to short temper? huh......:@ :@ :@

..kalo aku, mmg aku basuh laki aku cukup2...bukan garang2, tengking ya...cakap baik2.....kalau marah2 pun x gune, coz mende dah jadi...warn him so that it won;t happen again.
..nak pukul anak, tgk le kesalahan tu, umur budak tu bape tahun... TER ke..SAJE ke...kids kan, kite kene paham gak lerr....
Aku pun pukul anak (dgn rotan), tp kene tau 'had' nye..jgn sampai mencederakan budak tu..Jangan pukul muka, kepala...pukul le kaki nyer...
.....4 me, kalo dah lebam tu, dah tahap mencederakan lah...

Aku akan tanye, nak tak I pukul u sampai lebam sbb I tershort temper? U nak rase sakit ke idak? ...

OraNewID

Originally posted by maza at 26-8-2008 11:44 AM
aaderkk, mcm nie pun boleh jadi problem ker.....hmm

org zaman skrg!!?



'SAYANG ANAK DI TANGAN-TANGANKAN"...

Sayang tak bermakna biarkan dan manjakan selalu serta mengabaikan yg  ...

My question is "How much TANGAN-TANGANKAN yg kita boleh terima?"

I have pictures... but donno how to put it up here.. can anyone teach me?

OraNewID

Originally posted by Hana at 26-8-2008 11:44 AM
misti la anak2 tu ada buat salah..sbb tu dipukul.
tak kan ler org yg normal suka suka hati ajer nak pukul tanpa sebab.
lain ler spouse tu ada tanda2 gila..or emosi terkurang or disahkan oleh do ...

what if ur spouse maybe has one of that u mention but never been rectified by doctors since he/she never seen the doctor for that reason?

How could we know until we have proof? and what if the bruises is the early signals?

OraNewID

Originally posted by MrsJohn at 26-8-2008 12:04 PM
Beaten the kids due to short temper? huh......:@ :@ :@

..kalo aku, mmg aku basuh laki aku cukup2...bukan garang2, tengking ya...cakap baik2.....kalau marah2 pun x gune, coz mende dah jadi...warn him so that it won;t happen again.
..nak pukul anak, tgk le kesalahan tu, umur budak tu bape tahun... TER ke..SAJE ke...kids kan, kite kene paham gak lerr....

I warned him thru sms since he put down the phone and never want to pick it up... I told him..."If my kid are no longer safe with u... i'll do s'thing..."

He replied.."Lantak ko la..."

well... he didn't make things any easier... so... what choice do I have?

paulinevoon

Originally posted by OraNewID at 25-8-2008 05:12 PM
Salam and hi to all,

I'm asking as a parent.

Ok.. ur children are taking a trip with ur spouse... let say it's 3 days and 2 nights trip..  while they were on the trip, ur spouse called and ...

how come u tak join them on that trip?

how many children yg your spouse kena handle? what are the age range? toddlers? teenagers? baby?

handling children could be hard work (if you ever have the experience..)... so am not surprised kalo your spouse ter-pukul anak tu

err.. bruises kat arm tu sbb apa? sbb di cengkat dgn kuat ke? atau sbb di pukul?

how to handle the situation........ byk lagi u kena find out sebelum u come up with how to handle the situation my fren

and u mention your spouse ada tanda2 sakit mental?

so complicated....

SANKURIANG

Satu lagi org zaman sekarang...syurga tu terletak di bawah tapak kaki anak.... apa salahnya anak tu di pukul? dah tu kalau buat peangai... mak/ayah mana yg blh tahan kan? aku kalau anak aku....aku rela dia menangis sekarang dari kita menangis bila anak kita tak jadik orang nanti....budak menangis, cantik la jugak...tapi kalau org tua nangis....buroks......

hanna1905

totally agreed with poline..

dan satu lagi, pemahaman i, u dah seperate dgn husband u ke..? sbb mcm u takder masa utk berbincang dgn dia..

manakautau

Originally posted by OraNewID at 26-8-2008 12:12 PM



My question is "How much TANGAN-TANGANKAN yg kita boleh terima?"

As long as budak2 bawah umur 12 tahun, rate of VELOCITY nya(measurement of tangan -tangankan) is < 3.6 kph...then it would be just fine.......

kudajantan77

Originally posted by OraNewID at 26-8-2008 12:18 PM


I warned him thru sms since he put down the phone and never want to pick it up... I told him..."If my kid are no longer safe with u... i'll do s'thing..."

He replied.."Lantak ko la..."

...

kalau aku dapat sms berbau ugutan camni .. aku pun mungkin akan beri jawapan yg sama .. ur words are harsh ..

first rule .. it's not my or your kid .. it's OUR kid ..
second rule .. find ways to work out this problem together .. bukan ikut kepala sendiri .. i'll do sumthing kununnnnn .. go ahead la for all i care ..

demonagirl6

Originally posted by OraNewID at 26-8-2008 12:18 PM
I warned him thru sms since he put down the phone and never want to pick it up... I told him..."If my kid are no longer safe with u... i'll do s'thing..."

He replied.."Lantak ko la..."

...

dier cakap "Lantak ko la..."...
engko do something about it jerk..
lagih pun dier pukul atas sebab kemarahan...what a psycho..

AnitaSabrina

If we are angry with people at work do we smack them?  

My questions :
1.  Why didn't you go with them on the trip - are you still a family (ie hubby, wife & kids?)
2.  How many children do you & hubby have and what is their exact ages?
3.  What did your child do to warrant the beating? This you have to resolve with your hubby.  Talk like rational adults.  He's probably feeling remorse otherwise he wouldn't call you up to confess.
4.  What is your husband's mental state?  
Left alone with small children, its absolutely normal for tempers to get frayed.  You are also to be blamed for not being there to protect your children from their father.  Also, you should've been there to share the workload with your hubby in caring/looking after your children.  

Many holes in your story.  Incomplete picture.  Very hard to give a solid answer.  

But my stand on this issue - IS NEVER EVER EVER EVER BEAT A CHILD!  
Absolutely, no one has any right to beat a child. They beat the child,because the child does not retaliate. The child is helpless. The child is at their mercy.   It is sadistic to take out your own frustrations on children. What if you try doing this to someone of your own  age and strength? You'll get thrashed!  Why beat helpless children - find faults and beat them?  This is inhuman.

I don't beat my kids.  No matter how angry I get.  Take a deep breath and rationalise why the kids are behaving that way.  Are they tired, hungry, ill, bored etc etc etc?  Learn to understand your children.  They are not so complex you know.

[ Last edited by  AnitaSabrina at 26-8-2008 11:49 PM ]

maza

aku memang sayang kat anak2.....dah dua anak aku ada.....sorg 4thn dan sorg 1th 8bln...

adakalanya memang marah dan geram bila anak2 buat hal!
Tapi Allah SWT memberi kita akal dan kewarasan......

So gunakanlah.

Dari dulu aku pegang perinsip, true is the truth! Jadinya kalau dah budak2 itu buat salah, salah tetap salah; kita kena didik......sekali beri nasihat, dua kali bagi peringatan, ketiga kali amaran.......dan keempat pengajaran......dan kelima.....siap ko?!

Tetapi kalau hendak ditangan-tangankan sekalipun ditangankanlah dgn penuh kasih sayang, niatkan di hati dgn kesayangan.....bukannya belasah tak ingat dunia hingga patah remuk budak itu.

Ditangankan dgn tujuan pengajaran jauh berbeza ditangankan demi memuaskan napsu kita, atau mendera tahap boleh membawa mudarat yang amat......


Petua yg selalu ingatkan pd diriku, sekiranya mendidik anak, (tangankan / hukuman) - kalau tgh berdiri, laksanakan dgn duduk, kalau duduk, laksanakan dgn berbaring, kalau tgh berbaring terus tido dulu   ...

atau kalau marah sangat.....aku cuba meneguk air masak sejuk barang 4-5 teguk....agar ketika marah dan menjalankan hukuman itu tidak melampaui batas!

.....

Aku akan praktikan sekiranya aku marah atau spouse marah depan anak2.....kami tidak saling membela anak tersebut.....

kalau dah tahap marah sesangat..... spouse akan mencelah dgn mengambil turn utk memberi nasihat kat anak2

satu lagi......kami akan terangkan secara detail, kepada anak2 apa kesalahannya....

Sbgi contoh, anak2 suka memanjat.....aku akan terangkan atau spouse aku akan terangkan sebb apa tidak diberi panjat alamari atau kabinet tv......(walaupun ketika itu anak sdg merangkak atau tak betah bercakap atau faham lagi).....

kemudian anak ulang lagi....sehinggalah kali keempat.....kami akan terangkan kesalahannya terlebih dahulu, barulah dihukum!

alhamdulilah, anak2 aku setakat ini dengar kata lah......
sekali atau dua kali aje cakap dia akan dengar dan ikut...kalau dia tak faham kami terangkan 'yg betul' bukan takut2kan dgn bunyi cicak, atau tengking, atau sergah atau hantu, atau jembalang, atau takutkan ayah, atau ibu....

....tetapi budak2 nie kekadang cakap ibu main langgar aje.....tapi dgn bapaknya...... ......ko org faham ajelah......

maza

aku pun sama,

aku lebih rela dengar anak menangis sekarang.....daripada dia meraung2 dan merana dewasa kelak....

dan paling aku takut, disoal dihadapan Allah SWT....gagal mendidik jiwa yg putih itu menjadi kekal org2 yg bertaqwa.....


.....cerita yg penuh pengajaran dr filem

1) Si Tangang
2) Aku ku Sazali

genelec

aku rasa TUAN RUMAH ada menyimpan perasaan DENDAM pada spouse die le.

Aku rasa ni bukan kisah pukul anak...ni kisah LAKI BINI tak sebulu. MAsing2 ego. Nak bercerai tak boleh sebab anak2 ade.
So masing2 mencari kesalahan pasangan masing2.

Masing2 nak mengaku "DIA LAH PENJAGA ANAK YANG PALING SEMPURNA"....
bende kecik pun nak bergaduh..... .... Bagi aku le....anak, tanggung jwb bapak untuk mendidik. Isteri kene membantu. Tapi jangan le sampai nak KAYU kan anak. Setakat SEBAT..... kan bagus di sebat kalau anak tak solat, anak kurang ajar, anak tak mahu puasa, anak melawan cakap ibu bapa.......SEBAT je. Anak nakal sangat pun sekali sekala pun kene pukul jgk.....

Buat2 lah berbincang mak cik oi. ..... Korang buangkan je EGO korang tu.
Kalau isteri??? buat2 lah hormat suami tu. Kalau dah tak hormat suami.... senang je....pi file kat JAWI...mintak cerai....sebab buat banyak DOSA je buat ape.

Aku tanye sikit... tapi tak payah jawap kat sini...jawap dalam hati je....

Adakah kamu or ur spouse mendirikan SOLAT 5 kali sehari? kalau tak buat ...buat le.....   ke laut ni