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LOVE IS BLIND - TOLONG ADVISE!
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Hi
Aku ada masalah yg aku sendiri taktau nak luahkan dekat sapa sekarang, aku sendiri kdg2 stress bila fikir benda ni. Mungkin bg korang ini masalah kecik/tak penting, tp bg aku this is in between life and death. SO aku decided utk tanya pendapat korang kat sini since aku was a silent reader and selalu baca comments forummer kat sini, aku tau yg korang kat sini ada background lain2. Okay, aku try clarify masalah aku kat bwh ni, tp kena baca pjg sikit la, and i hope it wont bores you guys to death. 
PART OF ME
1. I am a normal young man living his life on his own path. Hari2 aku mcm biasa, bgn tido, gi kerja, balik kerja and tido. Memang sangat normal bukan?
2. Rupa? Yg ni aku sendiri taktau nak judge rupa sendiri, bila aku masuk tmpt kerja baru, mst ramai yg ckp aku good looking, but i really dont think so. Awek2 kat office ada yg daring kdg2 panggil aku darling la, hotstuff la and sometimes, jokingly said "i want you!" Tp aku balas dgn senyum je, sbb aku tau its a joke. (Ini bkn angkat bakul sendiri!)
3. Career? Hmm aku blh ckp yg aku berjaya jgk and boleh la hidup stable dgn kerja mkn gaji aku skrg. Sbb bujang lagi kot 
4. Love life? It has been 2* years i live in this world, and i only dated once. It was high school time. Awek aku tu aku syg sgt, time putus tu mcm berkaca jgk la mata, since it was her decision, i can't do anything bout it. Hidup mst diteruskan. 
PROBLEM(s) / CONFUSION / IN DENIAL?
1. Sekarang ni aku baru msk tmpt kerja baru, months mcm tu. And aku ada la minat sorang awek ni(dlm ni aku panggil dia A) and dia pun mcm minat kat aku jgk, so kat situ dah takda masalah bg aku. We always jokes around saying some sweet words towards each other, but we both knw its only a joke  , tp aku ni jenis yg susah nk approach girls, so our relationship stick as friends for now, but i hope there's a bright future waiting for me and A. But, ada benda bout this girl yg makes me think that shes not the one for me. It kinda serious sh*t jgk la, but still aku akan suka kat dia, cause i knw people do change. Haa, Pasal benda ttg awek ni tu, biar aku je yg tau. 
2. Bila aku msk tmpt baru ni, aku rasa mcm diri aku lost sekejap, yes, lost in life path, its not culture shock or anything, its just kwn2 yg aku jmpa kt tmpt kerja baru ni buat aku mcm, erm this is life and i should appreciate friendship, its not that previously i never enjoyed my life, i did, tp bila dgn diorg baru ni aku rasa hidup aku more alive. Yet, in mind i know i've crashed to dark alley. Tp aku still tau whats good and whats bad. Aku still aku.
3. Dekat tmpt kerja baru ni la aku mcm baru sedar masalah ni, nanti bila aku mention korang jgn lah terkejut sgt. Erm, mcm susah nk bgtau sbb tak reti nk explain. Hmm, ok, kat office aku ni, other than that girl yg aku suka tu, aku ada la kwn2 rapat yg lain. Yg paling rapat is this one guy, i named him as B. Aku dgn B ni nak ckp rapat sgt tu tak la, tp kitaorg agak rapat, kat office selalu sekali, tp kitaorg diff department, time lunch ke, jmpa la, mkn sekali. Borak2, lepak2. The first time aku jmpa si B ni, i'd never expect that we will be this close, aku anggap dia bestfriend aku skrg and dia pun anggap mcm tu.
4. TETAPI! Masalahnya ada kat aku skrg, aku rasa the more we get closer, the more i like him, aku pun taktau dr mana this feeling dtg. Benda ni mcm tiba2 dtg kat aku without I realising it. Kdg2 aku boleh rindu kat dia, idk whether this one is supposed to be normal or not, but i think for a guy to miss his guy bestfriend, it is normal. BUT its getting more COMPLICATED when i realised that aku akan rasa jealous bila dia rapat dgn org lain. Aku mcm tak suka, tp aku tak tunjuk and ckp apa2 pun. Aku simpan baik2 perasaan ni, sbb aku msh taktau apa ni sebenarnya. Or aku just in denial?
5. B is a very kind man, kdg2 aku rasa mcm B ni layan aku baik sgt as a guy, kdg2 bila dia sampai2 office je pagi2, email dia dulu pop up kat inbox aku, bila dia nk balik pun he often notify me. Kalau aku ckp kat dia yg aku stress pasal issues at work, dia akan advice aku with funny stuffs and i will literally smiling alone depan pc. Kdg2 B akan text aku just to say random stuffs. Tp text kitaorg usually tak akan lebih dr 20 replied "back and forth". Aku saja reply dgn something yg boleh end the conversation instantly. Kejam? No, i dont think so. Sometimes i feel that he likes me, but i convince myself that he's not. Aku akan ckp kat diri sendiri yg aku je perasan lebih. Aku mcm kena pressure, even aku tau yg benda ni aku boleh buat bodoh je, but since we meet almost everyday, aku mcm taktau nk buat apa.
6. And yes, A? Me A and B are good friends, everytime i saw A, aku akan lupa kejap those nonsense feelings towards B. Tp bila aku dgn B je kdg2 lepak, those feelings were racing in my heart. But, bila aku tgk si B, dlm hati aku selalu ckp he's still on the right track. It is just me who still don't get what is happening.
CONCLUSION
Aku tgh confuse skrg, sama ada aku ni still straight? Gay? Or aku suka dua2? Susahnya lah, time aku type ni, aku cinvince diri aku yg aku still kat option 1st. 
I need opinion on these guys. Aku perlu tau apa yg aku perlu buat? Perlu ke aku ckp dgn B pasal ni? Or aku just ignore perasaan aku ni and kwn mc biasa je buat bodoh.
Tp hati aku ni mcm nk sgt tau apa yg si B ni fikirkan ttg aku. Tp aku takut our friendship will become friendsh*t bila aku open up pasal ni kat dia. I dont want that to happen.
[Aku tau mst akan ada org akan comment nak bash aku nanti, but its okay, its just a text anyway. It hurt for a sec, but it wont hurt forever]
Thank you in advance!
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Itu syaitonnirrajim je tu...saje bagi feeling y bukan2 hahahah, btw bila perasaan tu datang kan mengucap banyak2.ok. |
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panjang. lompat2 je aku bace. macam buat report pulak ko punya luahan perasaan ni haha
bro. mase ko zaman2 sekolah dulu pergaulan dengan lelaki camne? ada tak pergaulan macam..adeh. tak reti nak cakap. pergaulan dengan member2 lelaki biasa je ke atau macam 'brother' atau 'back-to-back' punya pergaulan? ada tak tetiba kawan kol 'oih, jom keluar!' dan ko pun dengan pantas 'orait, no problem'. ada tak macam gurau kasar2 dengan kawan lelaki 'eh, babi k*mak kau hahaha' atau 'mana ada bodoh' dsb. harap ko faham apa yg nak aku sampaikan
kalau takde, so mungkin source ko punya problem datang dari situ. ko bukan gay, cuma ko tak reti nak bergaul sesama lelaki membuatkan ko jadi konfius atau tak tahu macammana caranya brotherhood punye relationship. ko tak tahu macammana nak melayan seorang best friend.
setkan dalam minda..ko dengan si B ialah brother! we are brother! ko ada masalah, aku backup. aku ada masalah, ko backup. kelakar pulak aku baca yg aku taip
paling penting, jangan fikir apa yang si B tu pikirkan pasal ko. itu terserah kat B biar dia solvekan sendiri. itu dia punya otak, jangan pandai2 nak selam dalam tu. cuma fikirkan perasaan ko je camne. solvekan dulu perasaan ko
idea. mungkin ko boleh rujuk series how i meet your mother. dalam tu banyak tunjuk bestfriend relationship antara marshall dengan hero lupa nama. mungkin ko boleh belajar something kat situ |
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Geli akak dgr KO berfeeling dgn jejanz jugak... Kembali pada fitrah.. Tuhan jadikan hidup berpasangan lelaki dan perempuan..Bkn lelaki dgn lelaki yg kene bala zaman dulu |
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Jangan la jadi gay..dah la gay makin bertambah skang ni.. |
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Anyway, ingat tuhan selalu  |
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mungkin la dalam xsedar ko ade naluri bisex kot..
cuma pada aku ko kena bersyukur sebab ko mngkin bisex bukan pure gay.. ramai pure gay yg hari2 berdoa agar tuhan beri dorang 1% mminat pada kaum perempuan pon jadilah.
kalau bisex ni maknanya ko masih blh kawal diri. pilih jalan yg Allah redha. layan perasaan dgn perempuan bukan lelaki. benda boleh pupuk sbb ko bukan pure gay pon. tggal lagi beringat jgn ikut nafsu songsang |
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kau masih straight cuma kau "terpesona" dengan cara layanan si B sebab mungkin tak pernah ada kawan lelaki lain yang layan kau sebegitu rupa, sebab tu lah kau mula fikir and feeling bukan2 bila B layan kau begitu.
perghh, ni ayat terpanjang yang pernah aku buat.
sila baca dengan satu nafas. |
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B sgt pandai menggoda..  |
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Jgn lah, aku taknak bisex, aku nak normal 
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Insya Allah, i'll try to lawan, serious mmg takut dgn perasaan ni. Thanks btw
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cube ko tngok gay porm
lau ko leh hadap aksi aiskrim n swallow skali
konfem lah tegar sengetian ko nih |
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Hahaha, aku tgk HIMYM tu. Aku dgn si B ni, gurau mcm biasa je, normal guys pny gurau, tp since kitaorg communicate in english most of the time, babi2 takda la, just menyumpah in english terms la, like f*cker, motherf*cker, bastard etc. Normal kan? Hahaha
Tp aku boleh rs yg kitaorg still repect satu sama lain. Aku harap benda ni normal as apa yg kau ckp Brotherhood. Aku hrp perasaan ni just mcm adik beradik pny perasaan.
Pjg kau reply bro, thank you!
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Thanks kak, sy pn harap benda ni semua tak benar. and i dont want to get involved in these kind of things.
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Sentiasa ingat thank you,
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Tu lah pasal, scary siot, aku harap aku just anggap dia mcm adik beradik je pny syg. Ish, tp aku still tak boleh bezakan, sbb aku tau dia kwn. But still i REALLY hope yg ni just mainan syaitan je. Thanks!
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Serious? Aku harap pun mcm tu doh, aku taknak la jatuh ke dlm kehidupan gay/bisex ni. Terima kasih sbb reply pjg hahaha
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Bukan menggoda kot, just rasanya itu mmg cara dia *sedapkan hati
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Siot! Hahaha mmg tak la. Thanks for you advice though
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Category: Cinta & Perhubungan
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Post time 17-5-2015 02:54 AM
变色卡
Post time 17-5-2015 03:41 AM
Author
