Perumpamaan isteri pertama ngan isteri kedua

Lipton

bila manak post pasai isteri demand..neh i ada baca somewhere..tak pasti betul ke tak....

'' Bila somi nak pasang lain dia tak leh downgradekan isteri sedia ada dan anak2 sedia ada...kecuali atas kerelaan isteri dan anak2 nanti dikira aniaya...contohnya jika isteri sedia ada sekarang disediakan elaun 1k setiap bulan tapi bila mai no 2 dia hanya diberi 500 saje..tapi jika isteri rela tak pelah..kalau dia tak rela..somi berdosa.."  so anyone arif on this leh huraikan tak..wa pun tak tahu betul ke tak....

putubambu

aku pun pening gak ngan pendapat tu..
mungkin bagi sesetengah lelaki yg berpoligami.. pembahagian begitu adil bagi diorg kot..

yg isteri tua..kena dpt lebih dpd isteri muda..
pasal yg tua lebih byk berkorban segala-galanya berbanding ngan yg muda..

koko2

ada soklan tambahan....

* Camana plak kalo bini tua tu tak pernah berkorban bagai utk perkahwinan tersebut..?
   Asekkkkk dok taram & perabih & membazir & demand tak sudah income laki dari
   semenjak kawennn sampai la laki nak kawen lain..?

   Peh tu...meroyan tak sudah..????

manakautau

Originally posted by my-alja at 10-7-2008 02:54 PM


initially sasha......i controlled myself sampai petang baru i jawab
biar saja si NYAH provoked my posting and others that relate to my posting....

u ingat i nie jadi mayat hidup ke?...bac ...

I would not like to believe that this is another kind of "sympathy post" that you are creating. The very fact that statement of this nature be presented in this manner shows one thing. Whatever it takes, points need to be made across. Tak boleh di PM saja ker? This thread is not about you alone for goodness sake. Dalam being defensive kamu juga tidak mahu terlepas untuk mengata orang, itu yang ironicnya kan?

You are trying to make people believe what you are personally going through but your remark alone by virtue of it's own merit does not warrant any action?

The victim can also be the aggressor....or vice versa......possible?

manakautau

Originally posted by Lipton at 10-7-2008 03:25 PM
bila manak post pasai isteri demand..neh i ada baca somewhere..tak pasti betul ke tak....

'' Bila somi nak pasang lain dia tak leh downgradekan isteri sedia ada dan anak2 sedia ada...kecuali a ...

Apakah ukurtara yang ditetapkan oleh Jakim sebelum membenarkan suami itu pasang lagi satu(dari sudut pendapatan).....go and do your own findings, sebelum menetapkan ianya sebagai downgrade dan menganiaya......

manakautau

Originally posted by koko2 at 10-7-2008 03:31 PM
ada soklan tambahan....

* Camana plak kalo bini tua tu tak pernah berkorban bagai utk perkahwinan tersebut..?
   Asekkkkk dok taram & perabih & membazir & demand tak sudah income laki dari
  ...

Yang lebih nak dipersoalkan disini macam Lipton cakap....adakah benar jika say gaji suami sebelum ini 5 ribu, dan isteri dapat jumlah ini selama mana mereka berkahwin, dan bila suami nak kawin lagi....5 ribu itu dibahagi pada dua...adakah ini boleh dikategorikan sebagai zalim dan satu penganiayaan....apa pandangan agama dari sudut ini?

Lipton

sebab tu ler nanti bila submit borang permohonan poligami, hakim akan panggil somi, isteri tuo, bakal isteri dan wali bakal isteri....tangga gaji tak ditetapkan pun..kat mahkamah nanti akan bersoal jawab ler...

Selalunya jantan2 kaberet yang tahu diri tu zahirnya tak mampu tak delah nak buat ikut procedur..sebab nanti kena ceramah ngan tuan hakim...n tak dibenarkan nikah...so baik nikah kat siam..bini sedia ada dan bini baru pepandai ler korang adapt nak idup ngan aku...haaa jgn lupa talak kat tangan aku...SAMDOL!!!!!:@

hzln

from what i observed so far, people who choose to belittle others postings are usually the one who hurt the most by the truth in it. hence the attempt to make it worthless, insignificant and totally irrelevant....

back to the topic, a parent's love and commitment to the children are of no comparison to the husband's love and commitment to the wives. the 1st kid might throw tantrum just merely because he/she can no longer be at the centre of the parents' attention and there's another creature taking that attention away from them.

but the 1st wife's resentment to the 2nd wife (or the prospect) is for different reasons altogether, especially if the 2nd marriage is just a conclusion of a secret affair. yes, she is angry because she may no longer be the centre of her husband's attention. but the bigger factors of the resentment are the fact that the husband cheats on her, being unfaithful, ungrateful even after all her sacrifices towards the family, and most importantly, she knows it all too well of her husband's incapability to support even one family, now easily wants to create another nest, just because the lusts have the bigger say?

i'm not saying that all polygamous men are serial cheaters and they got what they deserve by being unfaithful and inconsiderate. some men, the morally-upright and responsible ones don't usually have to deal with this resentment issue for too long. initially yes, during the adjustment period especially, but after awhile they're able to prove their worth and able to treat the wives with all fairness...it all depends on you guys...you're the captain.

[ Last edited by  hzln at 10-7-2008 03:55 PM ]

putubambu

kalau kes ni.. aku rasa.. wajarlah laki dia kawin lain..hehehe...
tapi tetap tak mengabaikan wife pertama tu.. especially kalau dah ada anak2..

manakautau

Originally posted by hzln at 10-7-2008 03:50 PM
from what i observed so far, people who choose to belittle others postings are usually the one who hurt the most by the truth in it. hence the attempt to make it worthless, insignificant and tota ...

Yang sedikit tu sebenarnya tak sesedikit yang disangkakan, memang ramai diluar sana, tapi lumrah kita, yang negative itu juga yang sering dipertonjolkan sedangkan yang baik yang ramai bilangannya diluar sana sering dipandang sepi.......

manakautau

Originally posted by Lipton at 10-7-2008 03:50 PM
sebab tu ler nanti bila submit borang permohonan poligami, hakim akan panggil somi, isteri tuo, bakal isteri dan wali bakal isteri....tangga gaji tak ditetapkan pun..kat mahkamah nanti akan berso ...

Back to my question raised...kalau suami itu ada pendapatan 5 ribu dan dibahagi dua...kira penganiayaan telah berlaku ker just on the context of isteri tua sekarang dapat 2.5 k instead of the full 5k as before?

LostSoul

you always hit da rite note..

kee\'ah

meh aku tolong kira on behalp of somi tu...

Isteri 1 banjer =  RM300 sebulan
Anak 1 = RM400 (pasal dia masuk unibersiti)
Anak 2 = RM300 (pasal dia masuk asrama)
Anak 3 = RM200
Anak 4 = RM200
Anak 5 = RM200
Banjer dapur, letrik, air api....bagi kat Isteri 1 = RM500...(kalo lebih pandai2 ler top up)
Keter dah bagi, rumah kasi duduk ...pasal anak ramai...rumah double storey ler katakan.
Jumlah Belanja Isteri 1 = RM2,100


Isteri 2  = RM300 (sama gak)
Anak 1 = RM200 (bini muda anak mesti kecik2 lagikan)
Anak 2 = RM200
Anak 3 = RM200
Keter pun dah bagi, rumah sebijik...anak tak ramai...bagi ler single storey...
Banjer dapur, letrik, air api....bagi kat Isteri 2 = RM500...(sama gak kalo lebih pandai2 ler top up)

Jumlah Belanja Isteri 2 = RM1,400

Somi kena lebih kepada yg berkeperluan jer....itu baru adil....
              
Takde maknenya nak tamak2 pun...dapat keter bergerak dan tempat berlindung panas pun dah kira ok....

Tamak2 kalu hempok je....

manakautau

Originally posted by LostSoul at 10-7-2008 03:59 PM
you always hit da rite note..

An opportunist is always an opprtunist.....knows when is the right time to come in, even if it means coming into the thread just for that particular purpose.....thread topic aside....

SleepyFish

Originally posted by misy at 10-7-2008 02:06 PM
boleh tak kita bincang pasal anak-anak = isteri-isteri...buang pasal poli...( sbb kalau dah pasal isteri isteri tu memang poli SUDAH terjadi)

misy do u mean anak yg mak bapak berpoli?

kalau dah accept that bapak dah kawen lain and that apa2 yg berlaku antara mak n bapa tu is their business...ok..memang akan ada peace of mind...sebab kan kalau nak pusing2 citer pun kasih sayang tu tetap sama...kalau bapak ada anak lain pun ngan 2nd wife tu hak dia. acceptance mungkin ambil masa tapi it ain't impossible.

kalau nak blame2 ni kan tak habis citer la. aku kan memang tak reti berpuitis nak tulis intelek jauh sekali...tapi experience=knowledge..kalau dah tau melawan arus tu menyakitkan hati dan tak dapat peace of mind...just love and accept apa2 yg ada depan mata.

tapi aku agree la bab choice/pilihan...kalau diri nak pilih merana nak lamenting2 menda2 yg dah pun terjadi dan berlaku suka hati la...tak boleh dipaksa2.

memang bab poligami ni kan tak habis2 citer cuma yg pernah mengalami atau kena tempias yg tau how it feels like...its not as bad as it seems unless u nak fight against it...

LostSoul

better than being a hypocrite without a scruples who does not know when to stop. some people are good at bringing out the worst in others, so they could bath in the light of glory of how holy they are.

manakautau

Originally posted by kee\'ah at 10-7-2008 04:04 PM
meh aku tolong kira on behalp of somi tu...

Isteri 1 banjer =  RM300 sebulan
Anak 1 = RM400 (pasal dia masuk unibersiti)
Anak 2 = RM300 (pasal dia masuk asrama)
Anak 3 = RM200
Anak 4 = RM2 ...

And kalau hang lihat contoh yang Manak katakan...based on two wives.......takdok anak.....and on basis of 5k......macamna?

Lipton

wa tak tahu ler manak...tunggu ajerlah respond hakim bila masuk court tu..sebab tu yang paling elok..bila dah ada persetujuan diluar mahkamah antara isteri, laki n bakal isteri...yang paling penting keredhaan isteri2 baru senang si somi nak kemudi poli...macam pakcik kat trengganu tuh...pandai dia cari sume2  bini yang idup sederhana..even gaji dia 1500 sebulan pun tiga2 bini izinkan dia kawin tanpa syarat sampai tuan hakim pun heran ( jeles sama kot.. )... Itu tandanya sang somi pandai didik bini...

Aku bagi contoh diri aku neh...somi jenis tak berkira ngan aku n anak2..hadiah birtday, hadiah anniversary, bawak pi holiday,  belanja makan, masak utk aku sesekali...kalau tetiba sebab kawin lain aku n anak2 tak nikmati sume benda tu pasti aku sentap n memberontak...jadi pada diri aku satu penganiayaan ler..jadi syarat pada dia..kena kekalkan ler apa yang aku n anak2 dapat dari dia...n pada masa yang sama dia kena sediakan benda yang sama ler pada wife n anak2 baru nanti...tapi kalau dia tak mampu nak sediakan apa yang aku n anak2 dapat pada keluarga baru nanti...it is up to bini baru ler leh reda or not...entah ler lelama aku pun confius sebab ada juga konsep adil pada tempatnya...contoh kalau bini tuo naik nazaria with 6 anak takperlu le beli nazaria kat bini mude with sorang anak..mungkin sutera dah ok....

Lipton

keeah kalau tempat berteduh sekarang pun bini sediaada sediakan , cemana tu...

putubambu

huh..sekali losol bersuara.....