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Originally posted by demonagirl6 at 4-7-2008 06:53 PM 
pendapat aku kes sebegini org tuh dah biasa hidup cam lemau..tak da cabaran
klu org tuh dier pernah melalui pengalaman perit and gentir melampau..
dorg neh lebih tahan lasak...and leh motivated ...
aku rasa ada betulnya jugak..kalu dah lalu mcm2 dr kecik smpi besar mmg jiwa blh jadi kental sket kot. aku tak kata org2 yg lemau bila diugut ni idup2 ala2 life on silver platter gitu, serba mudah dari kecik...tapi takat yg aku tgk, kwn2 akulah ni, yg mmg dr kecik smpi besar adaaaaa ajer masalah, depa2 ni lebih bersedia dgn segala kemungkinan...tapi takkan la kot kita nak train anak2 kita idup melarat hanya semata sbb nak anak jadik kental dgn segala cabaran..kan? |
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Originally posted by alangGIRL at 4-7-2008 06:28 PM
yer... aku setuju ni... tak semua yg belajar tinggi bole handle benda2 camni... ada yg berpendidikan tinggi yg kena dera mental/ fizikal etc...
aku cakap based on logic saja, selogiknya makin kita ada pelajaran makin kita mampu guna otak kita, tapi nampaknya pelajaran saja tak menjamin kekebalan mental kita bila diuji dgn menda2 ni...ke sebab org ijazah bergulung2 ni lagi byk pikir...kalu aku buat ini, jadi gini, kalu buat itu, jadi gitu...sudahnya dia maintain status quo sajalah...banding dgn org yg pikir tak panjang neh...mlm ni kena ugut, mlm ni jugakler kemas kain baju, blahhhh... |
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mmg mental kena kuat...sb time tengah2 krisis, mana la pikiran nak betui..macam2 in mind...
like me dulu pun, time nak divorce, macam2 kena ugut..tu bukan pesal kes org ke-3 pun, aku cam takleh pikir betui bila x aku diugut ...sampai kena telan antidepressant
actually, kalo dipikirkan secara betui and ikut procedure...mmg wife akan dapat hak penjagaan anak dan banyak lagi menda leh dituntut (which i tak tuntut sb takmo pening2 lawan dgn x hubby) |
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Originally posted by alangGIRL at 4-7-2008 06:14 PM
sbb2 takut ngan ugutan:
1. Tak tahu hak sendiri...
2. Emosi
3. takut kehilangan org yg disayangi...i.e. anak, suami, isteri....
4. Dh lama sgt dh kena brainwash ngan pasangan yg suka ugut t ...
aku highlight tang tu jer...mungkin sbb kita ni masyarakat yg utamakan lelaki dlm segala hal, yg bagi ceramah2 agama pun ramai lelaki saja...jadinya hak2 lelaki lah yg lebih kita war2kan..didikan mak bapak dulu2 pun lebihkan anak lelaki...segala nas2 pun yg byk ditonjol psl superiority lelaki, syurga itu bawah tapak kaki suami, tapi tak ckp suami jenis macamana, main pukul rata sajalah semua jenis suami...tu lah namanya tatau hak tu....kena ugut pun tahan sajalah...sbb suami lbh berkuasa, dia blh buat apa dia suka....kita terima sajalah keputusan dia.... |
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I would prefer to say tak kuat jiwa.. bukan x kuat mental..... sbb mentally mungkin dia leh fikir procedure and legal .... tp jiwa is more mcm mana tahan ke kena sembur dgn kata2 nista... keteguhan hati yg percaya she is doing the right thing...
It's matter of the heart... Your mind may know which is wrong and which is right... but your heart may not be strong enough to make you hold it togerther so you'll break down... eventually...
Betul ke den mengarut nie..  |
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Reply #26 mummyslove's post
betul mummy...
emosi senang terganggu bila kena marah2 dgn kata2 "only God knows"....mmg break down nya la... |
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Originally posted by norsha at 4-7-2008 07:40 PM
mmg mental kena kuat...sb time tengah2 krisis, mana la pikiran nak betui..macam2 in mind...
like me dulu pun, time nak divorce, macam2 kena ugut..tu bukan pesal kes org ke-3 pun, aku cam takle ...
sbb tulah kan support system ni cukup penting..kawan2, kaum keluarga, ada jumpa kaunselor...kalu nak harap dpt kekuatan mental sorang2 diri parah jugak kan? ya lah tgh2 emosi mana lah nak dtg rasional tu..abih2 pun nangis. tapi tu dr perspektif isterilah, org2 keliling ni yg bagi dia kekuatan...tapi bagi perspektif jantan tu pulak, org2 keliling nilah yg buat rumahtangga hancusss.... maleh aku amik pot org takmo cermin diri nehhh... |
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Originally posted by hzln at 4-7-2008 09:10 PM
sbb tulah kan support system ni cukup penting..kawan2, kaum keluarga, ada jumpa kaunselor...kalu nak harap dpt kekuatan mental sorang2 diri parah jugak kan? ya lah tgh2 emosi mana lah nak dtg ...
ade kan wujud persatuan2 bagi wanita kan? women support group gitu2 |
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Originally posted by mummyslove at 4-7-2008 08:04 PM
I would prefer to say tak kuat jiwa.. bukan x kuat mental..... sbb mentally mungkin dia leh fikir procedure and legal .... tp jiwa is more mcm mana tahan ke kena sembur dgn kata2 nista... keteguh ...
u must have been thru a lot kan? dr pengalaman u lah, peringkat mana yg u rasa enough is enough lah...malasss dah aku nak layan ugutan2 sengal kau tu? kalau tak keberatan nak cerita lah. lain org lain level of resistance kan...
ada 2 jenis aku rasa org yg dah lalu menda2 ni, satu yg lepas cerai jer terus cari pengganti, aku ada kawan abis edah jer terus kawin lain, semata sbb nak hapus segala menda2 bad memories dia ngan duda dia, love on a rebound ni mmg risky gilalah, tapi aku tgk dia happy jer dgn 2nd marriage dia skrg...yg jenis kedua yg jadik skeptik gila, fobia pun ada, mmg cukup susah nak percaya lelaki semula...anggap semua lelaki mcm bekasnya dulu... |
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Originally posted by demonagirl6 at 4-7-2008 09:14 PM
ade kan wujud persatuan2 bagi wanita kan? women support group gitu2
yup, mmg byk women support group, NGO esp, tunggu kita nak join ke tidak jer...byk cara nak empower diri sendiri sbnrnya, kalu malu ke takde masa ker, support thru internet pun byk...kalau kita nak tolong diri sendiri, ramai org blh tlg kita...semuanya bergantung kat diri sendiri la dear...nak terus-terusan lemau ke nak jadik kuat dan bertindak ikut akal... |
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topic cenggini mmg selo sikit...respon pun ala2 berhemah ajer...tau sgt dah...cuba buh topic suamiku curang dgn anak dara bergetah....menderu2 ler respon...siap bulih berapi2...topic terhangit di pasaran le katakan...
baguih juga ler camni...tak penin' kepala aku tgk org gaduh.... |
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Kenapa mesti tunduk pada ugutan?
1. Tak tahu HAK sendiri
2. Tak mahu berfikir sendiri
Kalau tulis banyak2 nanti orang bagi alasan "Tak ada di situasi macam itu memang la senang tulis sesedap rasa". |
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Reply #1 hzln's post
takut kepada sesuatu yg mereka sendiri tak pasti kot
selama ni mindset wanita tu ...somilah segalanya, somilah pembela nasib dia, pembenteng
bila situasi dah bertukar somi jadik pembanting...diorang hilang punca, konpius, end of the world
sebab wanita meletakkan diri mereka terlalu rendah, sanjung puja somi, sampai pakai tudung pun sbb somi suruh, bukan sbb ibadah....so bila yg disanjung dah murka & ugut ugut pasal pembalasan "dosa"...mana taknye jadik takut |
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Balas #31 hzln\ catat
menjawab soklan hzln.... actually I took quite a lot.... Mcm kalo uols tahu.... sure I would have had the same look you r giving kak ayang now... cumanya I didn't talk and tell anyone...
When people ask ... I'd say x der apa2... Smpi one day I open up to someone... sbb the thing just happened the day before... so when someone ask I broke down easily....
And like most of you may have heard before I'd say... "Dia kata dia x sengaja"..."Dia terlepas marah".... Tp bila org suddenly marah mummy balik... "Dia buat mcm nie pun I** ckp x sengaja... tgk nie lebam..situ lebam... Mana ada org x sengaja lebam byk2" I cried....
Well mummy didn't hurt that much when he hurt me but I really felt hurt the most when he continuously said things about my family..and he hurts me even more when I told my family what has been going on all those 7 yrs...
Out of panic becoz... things that I have been hiding resurface... he went out of boundaries....
Which makes me think.. "Ada sebab kenapa semua nie terjadi... Allah nak tunjuk pada mummy jalan keluar yg selama nie mummy cari"
My strength I got it from the level of abuse he did... the more he abuse me the more I feel the pressure to break free.... And the more his lies reveals... the more I know I am doing the right thing....
Sbb biasanya, wife yg nak putuskan keputusan utk pergi sgt berat... Sbb dia dia antara rasa bersalah...pada agama... sbb bergegarnya Arash Allah bilamana isteri meminta cerai dari suaminya... dgn rasa bersalah kepada anak2.... dan rasa malu dan bersalah kepada kedua belah keluarga....
Sbb bila kita bercerai ia juga membawa maksud kekecewaan bg kedua belah family....
emm lagi apa yea... nnt lah ada ilham kang tulih lg...
[ Last edited by mummyslove at 4-7-2008 11:09 PM ] |
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Originally posted by misy at 4-7-2008 10:44 PM
takut kepada sesuatu yg mereka sendiri tak pasti kot
selama ni mindset wanita tu ...somilah segalanya, somilah pembela nasib dia, pembenteng
bila situasi dah bertukar somi jadik pembanting... ...
Tepat sekali.
Terlalu menyanjung suami seolah suami tu penentu masa depan hidup bahagia dia. Terlalu taksub pada manusia bernama suami sehingga suami memijak kepala membuli dia pun tak apa.
Patutnya dari awal kahwin dah set dlm mind & bagi hint pada suami, "Kau yang ku cinta tapi kau bukan segalanya dalam hidupku". Hehehe |
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Utk para kedua plak... I'm actually not phobia with men... coz I have a good role model ... which is my eldest brother... And the yearning of wanting to find happiness.. tu agak kuat....
The only thing is I didn't trust my own heart very much... sbb mummy senang rasa simpati, kesian, easily feels guilty.... And bila I feels guilty I'll try my best to make it work for him but not for me... I am the kind of person that always avoids confrontation...
Kalo org ajak gaduh jer I'll back off... in my ex case... I always try to give him what he wants.. coz I don't like the feeling of guilt that he always makes me feel if things doesn't goes his way.... Last time ada org introduce me to someone and I want us to be just friend and not more... I felt guilty...nangis plak takut I hurt his feelings...
I just need to toughen a bit and learn to put my heart should comes first...Only then I could restart with a new relationship.. |
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Originally posted by misy at 4-7-2008 10:44 PM
takut kepada sesuatu yg mereka sendiri tak pasti kot
selama ni mindset wanita tu ...somilah segalanya, somilah pembela nasib dia, pembenteng
bila situasi dah bertukar somi jadik pembanting... ...
yes, over-dependance on the husband could lead to severe low self-esteem and self-initiative. guess being accustomed to be in a subordinate position makes us overlooking the need to develop our own self-esteem and self-initiative. and when we are lacking on that self-confidence, we tend to blame more on ourselves, and just take whatever rubbish that's being thrown at our direction rather than finding the way out. |
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this article is about domestic violence, not specifically abt threats, but in some ways, can still be applicable when dealing with threats...
There is no excuse for domestic violence. If you or someone that you know is being abused get help. Life is too short to be worrying about some ***** in your life that makes it a living hell. Remember domestic violence doesn抰 just affect you, it affects everyone around you. It takes a lot of courage to leave an ***** (abuser), but it can be done.
An abuser will say they are sorry, an abuser will make it sound like they are sincere and it will never happen again 搖ntil the next time |
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Author
Post time 4-7-2008 07:40 PM
![[MBC/Netflix 2024] DOUBT - Han Suk Kyu, Chae Won Bin, Han Ye Ri ~ 11 October 2024](https://uf.cari.com.my/forumx/mforum/block/f0/f06011dc76c706b67eb2cb605c116387.jpg)
