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Reply #41 voiletiris's post
rules no.1 for a happy marriage..
NEVER ASSUME.. |
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Originally posted by voiletiris at 5-8-2008 03:14 PM 
macamana mengatasi nya.bagi aku memang tak dapat melupai kecurangan suami ku.ia seakan2 baru belaku semalam.
ko buat dekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk jer...mahapkan jer lah..sesungguhnya ittew lebih baik.. |
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tuan umah... kalu ko still nak terima kemaafan suami ko tu, i would like to suggest that you accept it sincerely from the bottom of your heart... janganlah mulut ko kata maaf, tp dlm hati tu duk merengkam geram... atau ko terima maaf tu dengan atas sebab2 lain (eg. anak2 ker, malu ker etc) bukan sebab ikhlas... sebab selagi ko tak ikhlas selagi tu lah jiwa ko nnt tak tenteram... silap2 ko plak sakit jiwa bila slalu ngadap muker laki ko yg ko dah jadik menyampah tu....
tp kalu ko tak bley nk terima... just let him go.... pls do not stick with him and jgnlah balas balik with your own affair... ramai jugak pompuan yg kononnya dia tu pandai sgt... laki aku beraffair, aku pun nk beraffair....
dont downgrade yourself... coz org yg beraffair ni bagi aku takder maruah... takder telor.... tak civilized.... haiwan jer yg ader byk pasangan, bukan manusia....
pendapat ikhlas darik aku.... |
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Originally posted by jenna at 8-8-2008 12:21 AM
tuan umah... kalu ko still nak terima kemaafan suami ko tu, i would like to suggest that you accept it sincerely from the bottom of your heart... janganlah mulut ko kata maaf, tp dlm hati tu duk ...
kalau takder telor..macam mana dia nak ber affair? wouldn't it be senseless? |
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Reply #49 shilo's post
tapikan dapat jenis affair bertahun tapi tak nak campak anak bini pun susah jugak kekdahnya.... |
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kalau tak nak campak anak bini, itu bermakna dia saje nak suka2 ngan pompuan tu |
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Originally posted by jenna at 8-8-2008 12:53 AM
bukanlah telor tu maksud aku telor skrotum tu.... maksud aku tak berani nk face the truth.... kalu betul cintan gila tahap dewa dgn si B tu kasik tahu jerlah dgn si A... untung2 ...
that comes back to the question...is the si B worth it?
Yang abg night tahu lah..hati lelaki..kalau dia rasa perempuan tu worth it..apa pun dia sanggup hadapi...
Tapi nak rasa worth it tu yang susah tu..the woman must be exceptionally special. |
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hmm baca sampai habis tapi tak de pulak lelaki yg bercerita ttg isteri yg curang :cf:
teringin nak tau camane laki handle this issue |
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Originally posted by voiletiris at 5-8-2008 15:14 
macamana mengatasi nya.bagi aku memang tak dapat melupai kecurangan suami ku.ia seakan2 baru belaku semalam.
...dan perasaan marah ko terhadap suami ko membuat ko rasa yang he doesnt deserve any kindness...compassion or forgiveness...why should he kan??...if he really loves u...how could he have hurt u this way??....and pple that hurt their love ones is undeserving of being forgiven...dont u think so??...
...and rite now...u are thinking...how could he ever expect u to forgive and forget after the hurt that he has caused u??...dia yang berlaku curang dan ko yang menanggung siksaan batin yang tak terhingga ini...and u asked yourself...what have u done to deserve this kind of treatment??...and this has affected your ability to forgive and forget...cos clearly...dalam situasi nie...u do not believe that forgiving and forgetting is deserved here...
...but...not being able to forgive and forget is making u feel so damn miserable...u wish to forget this dark episode...but...everything about him will remind u of his affair...and this will invoke all the negative vibes in u...
...u want to forget the whole thing??...then u have to learn how to let go of the past hurt and pain dan kuatkan keyakinan ko pada kebaikan suami ko...this is the only way...now how are u going to be able to do this??...
...ok...now...it is easy to point the finger of blame at your husband for the pain yang ko sedang tanggung nie...but...have u ever consider yourself being or partly responsble for his wrong doing nie??...dont get me wrong...im not saying that u are responsible for all these...cos aku percaya we are responsible for our own doings and actions...and laki ko is guilty of the things that he has done to u...cuma...the factors that drove him to this whole affair...pernah ke ko tanya diri ko or tanya laki ko kenapa dia beraffair nie??...adakah kerana dia suka suki saja??...or kerana dia dahagakan something??...looking for something that possibly ko tak dapat memberikan padanya??...kerana aku jugak percaya...pple dont get into an affair for no rhyme or reason...and...i believe that to be better able to forgive and forget when u have been betrayed by your spouse is by pointing the finger of responsibility (partly) at yourself too...tsk...kira2 muhasabah diri lerrrr...
...again...not all pple believe that kenapa kita kena carik kesalahan pada diri kita sedangkan yang bersalah ialah pasangan kita??...kenapa kita tak focus saja pada kesalahan pasangan kita??...ok...the reason being...sebab kita nak believe that pasangan kita tu deserve our forgiveness...we want to believe that he still has something worthy inside him to deserve our forgiveness...and kalau boleh...kita nak mempertahankan our marriage nie within our means and capacity...so...we try to focus on his good/bright sides...and we also try to look for our limitations and weaknesses that might have driven him to his affair...
...so...back to basic...communicate ngan dia secara jujur dan ikhlas...luahkan segala perasaan yang terpendam dalam hati...akur akan kesilapan diri masing2...dan berjanji akan cuba mengubah dan membantu each other to change...take the risks kalau ianya worthwhile...have more faith in Him...your spouse and your marriage...kata orang...to be forgiving nie is an act of compassion...a magnanimous gesture yang ramai tak mampu nak lakukan...cos bila ko memberikan kemaafan pada your spouse...bererti jugak segala kesalahan dan kesilapan dia yang sudah2 itu tidak akan ko jadikan sebagai penghalang or barriers tuk ko move on to build your new life and new beginings bersama2 ngan dia...
...dan...ko jugak kena bantu dan beri dia your support tuk pulihkan balik hubungan korang nie...agar korang dapat menyambung balik whatever connection yang dah terputus...reestablish back that loving relationship yang korang once had...making your relationship stronger than ever...and if u are able to do this...this part my fren is what we call the act of forgetting...
[ Last edited by blackmore at 11-8-2008 07:27 PM ] |
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Originally posted by blackmore at 10-8-2008 08:01 PM
...yeah...seems that way isnt it??...
...dan perasaan marah ko terhadap suami ko membuat ko rasa yang he doesnt deserve any kindness...compassion or forgiveness...why should he kan??...if ...
Blackmore... apsal aku selalu sebak bila post ko... ko munulis dari hati ko yek??? |
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Reply #57 blackmore's post
yep... it hurts if you remember the pain... but take it a step at a time...1 day, a week... a month... or maybe 2 yrs... none of the day will go by without the thought of it....
But you have to really listen to your heart.. your mind... and your inner self... Look for what is important to you... it may hurt you time and time again.... search within your self and when you feel you are ready, act on it....
Learn to forgive him is not as easy thing when you have been hurt so dearly... but before you can start to forgive him... try to forgive your self also...
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[ Last edited by mummyslove at 11-8-2008 11:52 AM ] |
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Author
Post time 7-8-2008 11:09 PM
(this applies to men only, tau..)
