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Reply 740# ziara
sian baca kisah u..niat nak nolong org..diri sendiri laks bermasalah..i think, u still leh menten ur maid to work wif u..provided u isolatekan dia fr ur in laws family. bab2 kekeluargaan ni..kkdg, org lelaki jenis tak sampai ati or seboleh mungkin mmg nak menjaga ati kuarga..
alternatively, u may can let go ur current maid and find a new one..of which, in future, seboleh mungkin jgn bagi dia rapat sgt ngan kuarga mentua or ngan org luar..kalu takat nak tolong ur own family..mebela sng sket nak settle..kalu ade apa2 matters yg tak puas ati..tapi, kalu da melibatkan in laws ni..frankly speaking mmg susah sket..silap2 wifey mmg kene sokmo makan ati.. |
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Reply 741# aryssaharris
Thanks Aryssa for your view. Masalahnya for as long as I ada maid, I can foresee it's impossible to isolate her from my in-laws, coz they call my hubby every weekend to remind him to send the maid to their house. And my hubby tak mampu menolak, at least not all the time. Once the maid is with them, it's beyond our control already.. Katalah pergi pick up maid awal, pun kena tunggu till she settles everything. The only way to solve it is either I let my maid go, or wait till my in-laws get their own maid (entah bila), or I redha je lah orang lain conquer my maid.
Sekarang ni I pun dah hilang keikhlasan nak menolong, bila fikir keburukan yang I dapat (setan dah hasut I kot). Masalahnya hubby berkeras nak tolong family dia juga (from his actions, not words), so sia-sia je I meluahkan ketidak puasan hati I selama ini. |
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ziara, mmg syaitan dah hasut you and your inlaws.
i am in the opinion that you should let go your maid..
sbb your maid dah tak tahu batas2 seorang employer & employee..dia dah tak tau siapa majikan dia..
i just nak cakap one thing, now ur maid dok close ngan ur inlaws, mesti ada benda2 psl u dia dok cerita kat ur inlaws, itu dah takde etiquettes..
nanti klu ada benda yg your inlaws tak berkenan ngan dia, or they all ada dispute, dia akan burukkan they all kat you lak..
tp, u kena bincang ngan hubby you baik2..
you kena terangkan that bukan you berkira ngan your inlaws, tp u just rasa they all tak respect you bila guna your maid sesuka hati..even tho maid tu takde kerja kat rumah you..
it is just invasion of privacy..
my inlaws kdg2 pinjam my maid, subject to my approval, but i will ask them to pay my maid accordingly..kdg2 they all bayar RM 10-20, but now i told my hubby if nak suruh buat kerja, min is RM 50 per day..cam hire other temp worker..mmg time pinjam my maid akan kerja tak berhenti2..sbb tu i rasa RM 10-20 tu tak berbaloi.. |
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Reply 742# ziara
mebe, its good move jugakla to let go the maid..unless, kalu u leh redha..to let the maid to work solely wif ur in laws..or bior jek, let the maid experience camne rasanya bekerja ngan ur in laws dgn tinggal sebumbung pada tempoh jangka panjang...maksudnya di sini..instead, she becomes ur in lawnye part timer..tapi, u laks yg jadikan dia sbg part timer...kalu takat duduk or keje umah org kejap2..mmgla nak terbau busuk tu susah..tapi, kalu da berbulan2 dok dan berhari2 dok bersama sebumbung...barula memasing akan tau betapa langit tu tinggi rendah..as if, barula dlm waktu ketika tu..perhaps...ur in laws can realize..baik buruk ur maid tu nanti...tp, again..i pon sendiri takkan punya hati..nak let my maid to work wif my in laws, my own family i.e. my mom or even my close frens..takut tak pasal2 hubungan yg sblm2 ni ok..menjadi keruh..hanya kerana sok-sek2 maid yg belum tentu betul secara keseluruhannya...dan mulala derang plaks yg akan pandang serong kat kita...benda2 cenggini mmg kkdg susah nak jangka..kkdg, org yg lama kenal ngan kita pon..belum tentu akan menyebelahi kita..kalu maid ni buat memacam citer...bab majikan marah2 tu..as for me..kira mcm adat jugalakan..kalu keje tak betul..takkanla majikan nak membabi buta marah kat maid, yer dak?
the best, mungkin leh amik maid baru semula..lepas ur in laws dpt maid yg permanent..or ur in laws dah tahap syok use ur as maid as part timer?? actually, benda2 ni mebe takkan jadik isu..kalu takde isu ketegangan dlm hubungan menantu and in laws...jadi, nak tak nak..ur maid pon kene jugak pandai main peranan..kalu mmg nak extra income..suppose, kene jugakla pandai amik ati majikan..sbb, karang mem da meletup..derang jugak yg akan terlepas peluang..passport tak renew..sudahnya kene antar pulang...
fyi, my sis in law pon berkongsi maid ngan my mil..tapi, dlm kes ni..mebe, tak sekompleks ur case..sbb, my sil mmg the employer yg membayar gaji..5 days her maid akan stay kat umah my mil..and only weekends, my sil akan amik dia cuci/ kemas umah... kkdg, ade gak i dgr2 my sil maid..talk something abt my mil...walo kkdg terang2...maid tu yg wat silap dan kene marah wif my mil..rumusannya di sini..kalu maid ni bekerja di 2 buah rumah..derang ni akan lebih keen to incline kpd mana satu mem yg lebih bole dibudi bicara..atau yg bukannya always nampak kesalahan mereka.. |
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Reply 743# Ariys21
Arys, apa yang you tulis tu betul belaka, malah 90 percent dah berlaku pun. I selalu berdoa minta Allah bagi I berlapang dada dgn apa yg berlaku, tapi bila ianya berterusan, susah bagi I untuk menerimanya. Memang my maid dah mengaku yg dia pernah report to my in-laws pasal I marah2 dia balik lambat. Siap bagi tau lagi sapa korumnya dlm sessi buat report tu: my MIL, my SIL, and maid my biras so I suppose my biras pun tau jugalah pasal ni. I boleh imagine diorang buat persidangan meja bulat kat depan TV tu, sambil tengok TV sambil borak2.
Betul juga you kata my maid tak tau sapa majikan dia. Bila kat sana 100 percent dia ikut arahan my in-laws, walaupun I ada juga kat situ. Contoh masa dinner, dia akan pergi jaga anak my SIL Dan suap budak tu makan. Maid my biras tak de buat mcm tu pun.
I dah banyak kali explain to my hubby. Pernah explain cara lembut, pernah meletup sampai seluruh badan menggeletar dan air mata berjurai-jurai (I emotional sikit), dan pernah tulis surat. Dia diam je bila I luahkan perasaan I, so I thought he understood. Tapi bila my in-laws call him to remind him to send the maid over, mulalah dia tak senang duduk, and then he decided to send her without discussing with me pun. Kiranya I ni observer je, bukan decision maker as far as this issue is concerned. So issue ni beterusan, akhirnya affect our marriage bila I dah banyak kali meletup. My own family nun jauh di kg, yg kat KL ni pun semua jauh Dari rumah we all so we don't face this issue with my family.
Last year my in-laws paid my maid rm200 per month. This year may be more coz rumah lagi besar. Itu yg my maid suka sbb dpt duit. layanan pun tip top, asyik puji my maid kerja kuat non-stop. Padahal dulu2 masa my maid baru tuba di msia & diorang ada maid sendiri selalu je diorang condemn my maid stupid, tak tau apa2 & pengotor (kat belakang my maid lah). |
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Reply 744# aryssaharris
Aryssa, selama ni I cuba belajar redha, tapi I gagal. Benda ni dah berlarutan lebih setahun pun. Kadang2 I terfikir juga nak terbalikkan arrangement ni, bagi my in-laws employ my maid and I guna dia dihujung minggu je. Bagi diorang tahu my maid bukanlah rajin sgt pun, dan juga supaya my maid tahu my in-laws pun bukan perfect employer. Tapi I tak berani take the risk. Even sekarang pun diorang dah treat my maid as if she's their maid, kalau I reverse the arrangement lagilah I berputih mata, I might as well forego her for good. I pun bukan seorang yg thick skin, nak pinjam2 maid org and then lengah2 hantar dia pulang. My in-laws pun selalu kata Ada banyakkkk sgt kerja kat rumah diorang, the previous maids tak ada masa senggang lansung, so I doubt they would lend me their maid.
Dulu2 my relationship with my in- laws was good. That's why initially I allowed my maid to help at their place. Kesian juga bila dengar kerja rumah tak habis2. Lagipun masa tu rumah diorang dekat dgn rumah I. I didn't foresee this coming. tak sangka diorang buat baik melebih2 dgn my maid to the extent that her loyalty switched to them. Kalau you tengok mesraa sgt diorang dgn my maid, siap gurau2. I pula type yg maintain professional relationship with my maid, cakap apa yg perlu je. So no guessing who she prefers. Kadang2 fikir kelakar pun ada, mcm nak kena buat pertandingan siapa pandai ambil hati maid, the winner gets to keep her for good. No prize for guessing who will win. Tapi lepas tu baru la nampak masing2 punya true colours.
May be your SIL tak de masalah coz yg pinjam maid tu mak dia sendiri? Ataupun her MIL tau batasan adab2 pinjam maid org? Ini dah pinjam 1 mlm, bila kita pergi rumah dia nak ambil maid tu, boleh minta extend 1 mlm lagi (minta dgn hubby behind my back). Hubby pula terus agree. I only found out after the deal was sealed. Sia2 je I buang masa ber jam2 kat situ tunggu my maid siapkan kerja dia. (I mengungkit incident lama. Rasanya now my hubby knows better. InsyaAllah takkan berlaku lagi. Tapi I still phobia).
Actually I jarang marah my maid. I pejam mata je dgn quality kerja dia. Anak I pun dah besar, bukan my maid kena jaga dia. Cuma sesekali teman dia ke taman main basikal, teman dia tengok cartoon, teman dia mandi sbb anak I ni penakut. Yg I marah tu bila my maid balik lambat Dari rumah my in-laws. Itupun bukan I marah kat dia. Sebenarnya I marahkan hubby, tapi silap I juga pergi meletup kat ruang tamu, dia pun kena tempiasnya. Itu yg dia report kat my in-laws, that I marah dia balik lambat and I marah tak bawa balik makanan (haha). Actually masa I marah2 balik lambat tu, I ungkit sekali makanan pun tak bawa balik (my maid balik pukul 8 mlm lepas tolong my in-laws masak dinner). sampai rumah my maid Tanya nak masak apa, hubby kata makan maggi je lah. I terus meletup. Dah pukul 8 mlm nak masak apa lagi, we all selalu dinner awal. Kalau nak tahu, my in-laws selalu masak banyak. Maid my biras pandai, bila dia pergi tolong kat sana, dia akan pack lauk masak utk majikan dia. My maid pula asyik balik dgn tangan kosong. So my maid bagitau my in-laws, kalau masak telor dadar pun, tolong bagi dia bawa balik. bunyinya mcm kelakar kan, tapi imagine lah my in-laws' perception of me bila dengar cerita ni Dari my maid. |
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ziara..ur hubby salah sbb tak handle, itu parents, you ni wife..dia mana boleh ambil jalan mudah senangkan hati parents dia and sanggup tahan kena bomb you..i think jalan mudah is ask your hubby to find another maid for you, and cari another maid for his parents..
this maid, biar dia rasa buat perangai tak elok camtu, hantar je dia balik..ini la racun dlm family yg buat family porak peranda..
from cerita you, your inlaws bukan orang susah pun nak ambil maid sendiri, tak perlu your maid..
oh yes, there is no such thing as switching loyalty..
DO NOT expect a maid to be loyal because by nature, indonesians are not loyal to any other if not their own, okay? it is not wrong, but sometimes annoying because you have been good to them..
i cakap tak salah sebab ini something like patriotism la..we dont question that..
tak payah fikir sgt apa your inlaws fikir psl you over what to eat..not your responsibility to make sure food ada kat rumah, nor your maid..your hubby yg kena bagi makan anak bini, and if he says maggie, ther first time, says okay..or if u rasa taknak maggie..kindly remind him that abang, u kena bagi i makan yg decent sbb u bukan susah pun..boleh tak i nak makan yg sedap sikit..takyah gaduh2..buat stress je.. |
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my hubby selalu cakap tak guna nak gaduh sama family over maid..
my experience with maid, my FIL kata kesian sbb dia buat banyak kerja..
my MIL marah sbb she thinks at that time my FIL side with my maid..
i told them, they are paid to do the job, and I paid them well, i treated them well.
Plus, she DID NOT do what she was supposed to do, end up my MIL yg kena buat kerja2 yg dia patut buat, which is jaga my kids..is that fair?
my FIL senyap la time tu..my hubby cakap, klu mak ni jenis tak kesian kat I, lama dah anak2 i terbiar, nak kesian kat maid yg dh memang kerja dia buat apa? itu tak kira yg most of the time dia duduk rehat coz she knows if dia tak buat, my MIL will do it..
i know ramai orang when it comes to maid, laki buat tak tau, but my maid, laki i treat them cam office worker, professionally..sbb tu kalau maid yg culas, we all akan lagi particular.. |
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Itulah masalahnya Arys, my hubby tak nak berdepan dgn conflict, dia lagi prefer penuhi permintaan family dia, then pray I tak meletup. I pun dah penat meletup to be honest, tapi sampai bila I nak makan hati. You boleh imagine tak diorang call your maid, suruh buat kueh. Duit tak bagi pun. Your maid guna duit pasar utk itu. Then diorang dtg collect semua kueh yg dah siap, sikit pun tak tinggal utk you. Tak de siapa pun minta permission you. You tau sbb nampak your maid dok buat kueh. Kiranya status you ala2 patung cendana laa.
Actually it's not my hubby's responsibility to find a maid for his family. His married sister & her family live in that house too, so I think she should hire a maid. Money is not the issue, they're well off. Previously I proposed they get temp maid, but they didn't want coz of security issue.
Pasal makan maggi tu, dah banyak Kali berlaku. Maid balik lambat so solutionnya makan maggi je lah. I tak kisah my in-laws tahu anak dia makan maggi coz dia dah sedia maklum antara tugas utama my maid ialah memasak (anak menantu dia yg lain pun semuanya harap kan maid yg masak). Yg I kisah ialah my maid cakap kat dia I marah my maid tak bawa balik lauk Dari rumah dia. Siap minta, walau masak telur dadar sekalipun, bagilah my maid bawa balik.
Entahlah |
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I tak blame my maid totally. I rasa dia pun tersepit. Balik rumah kena marah sbb balik lambat. Padahal bukan salah dia, my in-laws yg suruh dia buat one thing after another.
Benda ni takkan berlaku kalau we all pandai handle family in-laws. We should be more firm. Tapi benda dah jadi, now nak cari solution terbaik je lah. I tak nak masalah suami-isteri, ipar duai berlarutan semata-mata kerana maid |
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I think ziara u should cut off all ties with the maid, either send her back to Indon for good or ask yr hubby's family to take her over 100% meaning bayar gaji 100% or any future levy, permit etc.. u tak payah contribute anything and if u need help with the housework cari maid partime ke (jgn u pulak mintak pakai dia sekali sekala if they agree to take over, just wash your hands off her for good). if diaorang taknak hantar the maid balik Indon terus. I thinkk won't be a problem since u're a housewife so maybe tak urgent that u have a live-in maid.. at least untuk sementara waktu. Rasanya tak berbaloi u stress yourself and jeopardize yr relations dgn hubby and yr inlaws becoz of this maid.. |
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Thanks ajiqah, I akan fikir semasak-masaknya. Mmg tak berbaloi stress over this issue. I pun bukan perlukan maid urgently. Yang buat I hesitant all this while is all the advantages I mentioned in my first post. Also, I fikir ada back up/support in case of emergency, eg baru2 ni I balik kg a few days coz mak sakit teruk, I boleh tinggalkan my daughter with my maid. Masalah I ialah no support coz rumah adik beradik semuanya jauh. |
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Reply 750# ziara
salam ziara,
i think,, in that case..elok je u let go ur maid..and let ur in laws too, find for another maid. i pon da start unhappy, bila my maid mula pandai menjawap2..sejak my sil and my mil come to my house sbb nak temankan my nephew main game kat umah i..kkdg tak faham juga dgn maid2 ni..kkdg tu kesian juga bila ngk dia takdek kawan..tapi, bila da bagi kawan atau bercampur dgn org..mulala pandai menjawap mcm tak hormat majikan..
i pon in the same position as u..rasa mcm in hestitation to let go my maid..but, after looking into her current condition, i rasa..mcm tak worth plak ngan rasa sakit ati yg dirasa..paling i tak suka, bila my maid suka compare diri dia ngan maid org lain..cthnya maid sebelah..my jiran's maid..kalu i ikutkan, dia keje a bit sempoi..kul 10.30 malam pon i ngk dia da terbongkang tido (coz dia tak tutup curtain sambil tido)..but, then by comparison..kalu ikutkan bukannya keje2 kat umah i takleh settle secepat sprt umah my jiran..it just matter, movement my maid yg agak slow..so, tak bulela dia nak simply salahkan majikan kalu dia x dapat tido awal macam maid sebelah. dan i tak nampak jugala kalu2 maid sebelah atau my maid in laws tu get the same benefits as my maid did...cam dapat jalan2 makan angin and stay in 4-5 star hotel and also flight to seberang plus bonus. sometimes, bila fikir2 balik..bukan sng nak satisfykan org...
berkenaan my in laws..actually kkdg mmg ade problem yg timbul..it just matter, as i mentioned in my earlier post..ianya adalah hubungan antara ibu dan anak..jadi takdela sepayah mcm anak menantu dan kuarga mentua. kot2 my sil tak setuju ngan my her mom..dia mebe, bule talk directly...as for example..her mom cant expect the maid to stay in my mil in house 24 hrs from Monday to Sunday..tapi, kalu kita sbg anak menantu nak cakap directly cenggitu ngan my mil..i rasa, ianya tak semudah diterima sprt anak memberitahu ibunya.. |
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Reply 746# ziara
hrmmm, bila ngk maid kita bukan main mesra ngan org lain lebih dr majikan tule part yg paling memboringkan dlm my life..
bukannya sbb isu sape yg dapat tambat hati maid sendiri..tp, frankly speaking..bila maid tu sendiri da duduk sebumbung dgn derang yg bukan main mesra melayan si maid tu nanti laks yg akan stress/ marah2 berlebih..ahaks! |
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Reply 751# ajiqah
aah, bole jek let go current maid 100% to mil..tp, ade cons dia jugala..yg mana..silap2 hb, habis sume kain dlm kita sume dia nak citer kat kuarga in laws..and takut2 plak lepas2 ni hubungan sesama anak menantu dan kuarga menantu menjadi semakin keruh dan tegang.. |
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i discourage u bagi that maid to your inlaws..nanti dia jagi batu api buruk2kan you.. |
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Reply 756# Ariys21
100% agreed wif Ariys21. |
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Salam, I nak minta opinions sisters here whether I should keep my maid.
Sedikit background, my ma ...
ziara Post at 14-9-2011 02:10 PM 
Huhu...kalau bg pinjam maid boleh jadi issue jugak ya?
Thanks for the story and tips... I should be more aware of such things |
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Reply 753# aryssaharris
Diorang ni bila dah bergaul dgn other maids mulalah timbul mcm2 issue. So you pun consider to release your maid? Nanti ambil replacement ke? I mmg pantang kalau maid suka menjawab.. Pernah experienced with my first maid. Just because she's older than me she thought she knew everything. I pulak kena dengar kata dia apa kes. |
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Reply 756# Ariys21
Hubby I pula keen nak bagi maid tu kat family dia huhu.. Sbb kesian nak terminate the maid mcm tu je. So he suggest renew and handover to his family. Tengok lah came nanti. |
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Post time 14-9-2011 05:16 PM
