Iols rasa TT sebenarnya lonely dan sangat lonely
The old wise man can isi her loneliness by sweet talks
Only Allah tahu samada the sweet talks is really genuine or just sweet talks
Bila dah serumah baru tahu the real character actually
TT dah pernah kawen dan pernah bercerai
If TT is willing to take a risk then go ahead
BUT for me personally I wouldnt take a risk marrying someone yg ada anak pesakit bipolar
Yes it does come across in my mind about d son n bipolar, son dia dah recover but yes still on medication. The son stays on his own. We will not be staying in d same hoise if let say ada jodoh
Yes, my priority is my son tp xble deny i do still need companion. Cuma i xlah gelojoh. I think we both more to hmmm improving our life. Both of us rare sikit life journey from normal couples so i would say our relationship ni more to complete the empitiness yg ada either me or him
Like me, he encourage me pursue my dreams, sending my son good school teach me more about life and bukan tu je dia share his knowldge with me
And my part, be thre for him...i be his shoulder to cry je...listen to him and me ni like send by Allah giving him 2nd chances and hopes sbb bfr this life dia hanya macam mana nak pulihkan anak dia
So me yg duk push dia start thinking about himself and start earnings wht he deserved.
So its complicated, i dare not to put any expectations but as far as i know current moment ni it is good to have someone u can talk to
U lnow dear, lelai zaman skrg xsemua yg baik and genuine
Typo, nk edit xble pulak...so dear i dont decide what is best for me...infact i hope my decision ni will benefit semua...xpelah kalau adanya i pd my ole man ni plg tak it will give him hopes to move on. He is a good man...dia xde pun bagi ayat romantik tp his knowledge and his attitude yg xmudah mengalah tu i salute
He is a good man. I know. Im pretty sure on that..and i do know im more cunning than him...having him actually good for me...remind tt utk jadi insan yg lebih baik ibu yg lebih baik anak yg lebih baik so i rasa ok je kawan dgn dia..utk kahwen as i told him u must earn more and provide all baru i agree..i xmau kawen and hidup susah..honestly tt dah make it clear to him on this part...
heyya , may I know....if you are okay with this - your parents dah tahu ke pasal the apple of your eyes ni , Adila?depa kata apa , depa okay restu ke ?dan pasal his son with mental condition tu - i think the best way is to support the carer and to provide him with infos like psychotherapy session ke, support group ke - a package of treatment of which - the son would want to take part or may be find support ?
or...u could / may suggest to him / encourage him to get such infos from his son's psychiatrist ? actually kan - the son is not to be feared if his compliance to medication is good u know plus psychotherapy ...just get the info may be at any uni hospitals ke private ke if you think that would be good / or his son 's best interest.one of the way to empower jugak when he wants to , if not tak pe.
i like your positive and empowering attitude - hey love should be having empowering and enriching effects right? so tak pe i suka attitude yg positive on the carer yg is looking after a son with mental condition ( i kalau boleh kan , it would be nice to / elak guna phrase 'bipolar son' sebab yalah sebab bukan semua mahu dikenali dengan penyakit , penyakit tu just sebahagian sahaja dan ini bagus untuk elak stigma yg ntah ape ape, so i suka tengok frasa you tulis his son with so and so... ) - jaga anak yg diuji sebegini i think hmm...a sign of his strength actually rather than anything else.
Nope. I xde intention pun nak bagitau until his condition better ( financially) . Yes, thanks for telling i pun tak terfikir. Well i guess matter of time and hopefully dia able to meet my request. Klu tak pun i still move on mcm biasa
1) i dont want to worry unneccasary things like
how much he earn and how he settle his bills. I told him stop take full responsible for all expenses afterall his two sons is 25 and 35. One is healthy and have no issues, but keje sendiri. And spending more on his vets than his responsible. So i told him..stop bother and let the son solve all bills
I kesian kat dia sbb anak2 dia nii still asumed dia ble keje like he is in his 30s so i xtau how he teach his sons.
2) Yg eldes is improving and trying hard getting jobs, and so far solat dah tak tinggal but i told him. Its not enough he needs to start paying his own bills.
So last nite TT mcm express my annoying how he treats his sons...or maybe he tak garang langsung.
I remind him, u have 4 months left.
Somehow, its true tak boleh depend on love alone. Kena tgk all surrouding..i told him how to live happy and i tak nak kawen lepas tu pening..so u have 4 months or else we can stop thinking about nikah and all.
I think im a bit too hard on him..and deep down i know..this is not gonna work out...but becoz i syg dia and kesiankan dia ..so im more to nakkk dia start thinking about himself..a proper life yg he deserved.
Why i am mad with him today oso dont know...i told him..do it dont just talk. Kesian my ole man..kena marah
Post time 31-10-2016 02:15 PMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
Edited by mbhcsf at 31-10-2016 02:18 PM
adila39 replied at 31-10-2016 11:23 AM
Last nite our communication to update progress.
Few things i highlighted kat dia
Yg 4 months tu....mai mana? I am at loss? , that part tu i tak faham? Yg 35 years old tu...boleh kot i keje mdc ke, or anything yg dia boleh buat? I am sure ade je part time job yg dia boleh buat?
Belum apa2 lagi u dah naik temper pasal cara dia handle anak2 dia
His weak points now is towards his sons..The guilt feelings he felt lepas dia cerai mak dorang
So how in the long run? U think u r capable to change him to suit ur needs?
Kawan iols kata selagi dia makan ubat selagi itu la penyakit tu under control
Unless dia dah disahkan tak payah amik ubat lagi oleh Psychiatrist
Makna nya ubat x perlu lagi kalau dah normal
it is 6 months actually , target untuk my ole man start balik his career as a trainer. He used to earn 40k or more per month..so he should start balik
yes, 6 months tu we duk cakap je set untuk planning nikah..but deep down i know it wll be tough..all my intention is for him to get back his life
soal jodoh tu, i serahkan pd Allah.
Yes i sayang dia, tp i jugak takkan kawen sbb syg sahaja. Sebab i xnak i tua and i pening pasal duit...but if so happen dia jdi my husband...and with Allah guidance insyaallah ixde masalah utk belajar and be a good wife
i selalu ckp dia...u must make sure ur sons able to be independant..imagine kalau sakit or xde dah..must make sure ur 2nd son yg xsihat tu..know how to survive..at least know how to earn for a living.
so saying that, 2 montsh dah over another 4 months..i saja push dia..so dia xsoft heart sangat dgn anak dia....he must get his life back sbb i tau dia tak happy with his life now...yes he is 66 but he dont act and think like one...he still chasing his dreams
and me, xpelah at least i boleh jd someone to lighthen up his life and so dia semangat la sikit
about me, hmm having him actually buat i peaceful. Itu je for now. And for the sons, yes i nak dia keep trying and after all the son is improving and i pun nak anak dia be a better person and able to lead a normal life as possible. Me support him all the way.
For myself n my son, we continue as usual...we love and we care and i make sure my son be the best person as what he wants to be bila dah besar nnt, insyallah.
Macam shallow je my impian ni..but i guess..dont want to complicated it...Allah lebih tau what is best.
I hope u urself dont get carried away with ur feelings
Like I said ealier his weakness point are his kids
Kalau dia saorang bertanggungjawab memang dia akan rasa bersalah forever
Sebab dia ceraikan his kids mother semasa anak2 dorang masih kecil lagi
This happen to my uncle. Dah married lain pun
Anak2 uncle dgn his ex wife always menjadi duri dalam daging dlm perkawinan uncle ini
Kelemahan uncle ini dia suka dengar dan ikut rentak anak2 dia dgn his ex wife
Walopun anak2 dia suka annoy his current wife... Tp uncle ni tak amik port pun
In the end his curent wife makan hati for years
Aunty pernah bagitahu my mom yg dia menyesal kawen dengan uncle
Yes aunty ni dah kawen dgn uncle tersebut 20 tahun dan dah ada anak2 pun dgn uncle
But priority uncle tetap pada anak2 dia dgn his ex wife
Adira
Think before u leap
Lebih ramai lagi org2 baik cuma u belum jumpa lagi
Dont rush into 2nd marriagge
U jangan pikir every time u jumpa a nice man u terus terpikir pasal perkawinan
If u jumpa a not so nice man pulak u pikir hes not for u
Anggap je a nice man dan not so nice man sebagai kawan2 then only u wont fall easily
Senang jatuh sayang dan senang jatuh cinta ada sebabnya
Hati sangat kesunyian dan in need for someone to fill in
I pun ada anak juga
Dan I terpikir jugak if anything happen to my marriage..In Shaa Allah harap tak berlaku
I takkan kawin again, In Shaa Allah
Post time 3-11-2016 01:46 PMFrom the mobile phone|Show all posts
Edited by mbhcsf at 3-11-2016 01:58 PM
adila39 replied at 3-11-2016 12:15 PM
it is 6 months actually , target untuk my ole man start balik his career as a trainer. He used to e ...
Ok, that would be wise and keep on praying for the best. Bagus u be supportive yups. Tak pe sabarvabd i think, \if the whole experience sekarang ni has made u to somehow being closer to allah , be kind and - alhamdulillah.
So yes, keep on praying for the best and i think , kalau u may perhaps finding out why hamba allah ni jaga his sons sampai tahap ni and tanya kenape subsconciously dia terlalu care sangat sampai maladaptive , adakah he is consumed with guilt ke? Cakap la yg past is past , dia would want to tart thinking on how to empower his sons.
I tatau ape the real issue actually with him and the sons ....
So stay positive and harap pada Allah dimudahkan segalanya. U have Allah so u never be alone to behonest, so alwa istikhorah and seek divine intervention for everything. Okaylah , i mean i can sense you are being very grounded and rationale. Tak pe aih.
Always doa....and i think dari dulu pun i can sense you ni grounded and know what you want and you boleh menilai, sebab nilai pengalaman n rationale you tu , u mcm faham siruasi and diri u n know what is best. So this is okay i think for the time being. Always doa ...sekiranya ia baik untukku , agama ku ...dan urusan ku di dunia and akhirat
But please dont assumed.
Lain org lain pengalaman marriagenya.
My ole man has been single dad for past 13 years after the divorce. Divorce at age of 54 xsilap. Masa ni his wife left him sebab his business down n he lost almost everything, properties and tanggung hutang millions. All his partnes cabut sbb only him face it and solve it one by one
Still, the wife is still in touch with the kids and his kids chose him instead the mother. All started when he is busy finding money and solving his financial problems bila anak2 dia dah kerja..maybe his mistakes being too kind and trust the son. Anak dia doing so good too earning 10k and drive big cars at his 20s so that time things seemed to back to normal but hujan ditengahari la kot anaknya become drinker and alchoholic tegar sampaila take drugs and banyakla lagi kisah2nya
All family members decide to put him into rehab and worst bila the son start halusinate they want to send him to ward gila. But my ole man said No. Fir past 6 years hes been spending time and money to selamatkan anak dia well maybe part of feeling it is his responsible afterall. Now alhamdulillah anak dia dah start solat and start realising all his mistakes and he is too want to change n i would say it is a hell journey sbb with bipolar diagnosis it takes a lot of courage n patience
So in between this ole man met me and so happen me pun single mum i rasa x salah utk i put my hopes on him sbb
1. I find him a very smart n calm oerson yg i xpernah jumpa
2. He has a very sharp mind tho he is now 66years old
3. I
3. I find him sangat wise with his life journey and he never give up tho u tau he lost almost everything but i tengok dia masih always cakap alhamdulillah
4. Where i ni yg xde ap apa big problems masih complaint itu n ini
5. Why, kadang tu i pikir jugak am i nuts ramai lagi yg muda and fizikal yg kuat but i still find him so rite for me sbb he always teach me a lesson about life . Dia tak cakap pun but knowing his journey buat i menilai diri i and improving myself
So after few years of searching i met him and he is beyond my expectations tua kurus and xkaya but surprisingly i find him the most attractive man i ever met
So i would say he is the one who is helping me ..dia tak tau pun and dia takde pun ayat ayat bunga what he teach me is the way he see things and how he fights for it and never give up
So i rasa why not kalau ada jodoh let him feel safe ada org jaga dia and i rasa ada sebabnya why Allah temukan i n dia. N yes kami taklah nak menikah tanpa planning n i pun dah make it clear we will only nikah if its the right thing to do n meantime i rasa it is a nible thing to do at least i trained myself being more wiser n calm and he at least have someone he can talk too n who knows...i infact mmg nk sangat tgk anak dua back to his feet n when its happening my ole man will be the happest man n me tumpang happy🙂
you nampak dia satu as kaedah Allah bukakan jalan untuk you dekat pada-Nya
pada i kan Adila
i am seeing Allah belai you dengan kasih sayang, doalah agar Allah bukakan semua jalan kebaikan untuk you and the rest of your flesh and blood...wow cantik, kan Allah tu kan Adila? it is okay ...semua org ada past life memasing ...but kat situ kita rasa Allah tu cantik...bila pintu hukmah dibukakan sikit sikit when He knows that you are ready.
sebab tu ... u know...if this would take you untuk letakkan kepala u di pagi hari bersujud dalam tahajud
so be it....u aim high... redha and izin allah ya dalam dunai ni
dunia ni as u pun tahu ...pinjaman...semua yg he alami tu memang pinjaman ....see? u akan sense kalau org tu dah going thru a lot , lain cara dia sebut tentang trials and tribulations..
u nampak kan - the person is wise to say alhamdulillah...and dah gone thru a lot trials and tribulations yg constant? ialah Allah
so dalam dunia ni just beg allah to keep on bagi nikmat iman and akal...dedua ni amat penting.
so tak pe...carry on being a pejuang dalam struggle ke arah redha-Nya...
so yups...sebab tu i think insya allah you are wise to assess and be aware of your own situation...tarbiyyah Allah tu...blessyou
pandang macam mana? bukannya i xde hidung atau mata . Ole man pun sama. Kami takde pun berjalan jalan hanya meet up one place and eat and drinks and talking itu sahaja.
Lagi 4 bulan. Lately ni TT rasa malas pulak nak banyak communicate via text sbb mcm rasa nothing much to share or talk. Ole man pun dah busy cuma TT tengok this is going to be so hard on him ...i have no idea how dia nak start balik his momentum mcm dulu dulu and with the son yang still depending on him..and i dont know...haihhhh..xde mood pulak today nak ckp pasal ole man..maybe tt ada rasa bosan sbb ole man ni banyak sangat isu...how to help him...and i still want but today rasa mcm malas..maybe esok TT feel better i hope so
Post time 28-10-2016 11:28 AM
Author
, that part tu i tak faham? Yg 35 years old tu...boleh kot i keje mdc ke, or anything yg dia boleh buat? I am sure ade je part time job yg dia boleh buat? 
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