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View: 5641|Reply: 32
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JOKES versi Sains & Maths
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59 + 34 + 2 + 37 + 97 = some number
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Q: What happens when you don't divide one by anything?
A: You divide one by nothing and get a divide by zero error. |
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HOW TO PUT AN ELEPHANT INTO A REFRIGERATOR:
Analysis:
1)牋Differentiate it and put into the refrig.
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What is "pi"?
Mathematician: Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter.
Engineer: Pi is about 22/7.
Physicist: Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005
Computer Programmer: Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision.
Nutritionist: You one track math-minded fellows, Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert! |
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An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining cabins at an old motel. First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep.
Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. He says to himself, "Hmm. How does one put out a fire? One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point, isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. This could be accomplished by applying water." So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep.
The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bedsheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. He says: "Aha! A solution exists!" and goes back to sleep. |
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What is the integral of "one over cabin" with respect to "cabin"?
Answer: Natural log cabin + c = houseboat. |
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Top ln(e^10) reasons why e is better than pi
10) e is easier to spell than pi.
9) pi ~= 3.14 while e ~=2.718281828459045.
8) The character for e can be found on a keyboard, but pi sure can't.
7) Everybody fights for their piece of the pie.
6) ln(pi^1) is a really nasty number, but ln(e^1) = 1.
5) e is used in calculus while pi is used in baby geometry.
4) 'e' is the most commonly picked vowel in Wheel of Fortune.
3) e stands for Euler's Number, pi doesn't stand for squat.
2) You don't need to know Greek to be able to use e.
1) You can't confuse e with a food product. |
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TECHNICAL HELP
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a Windows Software engineer were out riding,
when their car broke down,and they couldn't get it started. The mechanical engineer suggested that
it might be out of gas, but after checking it out he found that it had plenty of gas.牋
The electrical engineer thought it might be the ignition system; lifted the hood and decided that everything was OK.
The Software engineer said, "Why don't we all牋roll the windows up, get out of the car, get back in the car
and roll the windows down again then see if it starts?" |
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How do you prove in three steps that a sheet of paper is a lazy dog?
1. A sheet of paper is an ink-lined plane.
2. An inclined plane is a slope up.
3. A slow pup is a lazy dog. |
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nice piece of work. keep posting chik! |
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Reply #13 guynextdoor's post
ok kecik punya hal la bro tapi tacahng mesti mau besaq la~~
I haven't invented these jokes - I just collect them.
Q: When did Bourbaki stop writing books?
A: When they realized that Serge Lang was a single person...
Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3000!
Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home?
A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"
A mathematician is flying non-stop from Edmonton to Frankfurt with AirTransat. The scheduled flying time is nine hours.
Some time after taking off, the pilot announces that one engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "Don't worry - we're safe. The only noticeable effect this will have for us is that our total flying time will be ten hours instead of nine."
A few hours into the flight, the pilot informs the passengers that another engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "But don't worry - we're still safe. Only our flying time will go up to twelve hours."
Some time later, a third engine fails and has to be turned off. But the pilot reassures the passengers: "Don't worry - even with one engine, we're still perfectly safe. It just means that it will take sixteen hours total for this plane to arrive in Frankfurt."
The mathematician remarks to his fellow passengers: "If the last engine breaks down, too, then we'll be in the air for twenty-four hours altogether!"
A math student is pestered by a classmate who wants to copy his homework assignment. The student hesitates, not only because he thinks it's wrong, but also because he doesn't want to be sanctioned for aiding and abetting.
His classmate calms him down: "Nobody will be able to trace my homework to you: I'll be changing the names of all the constants and variables: a to b, x to y, and so on."
Not quite convinced, but eager to be left alone, the student hands his completed assignment to the classmate for copying.
After the deadline, the student asks: "Did you really change the names of all the variables?"
"Sure!" the classmate replies. "When you called a function f, I called it g; when you called a variable x, I renamed it to y; and when you were writing about the log of x+1, I called it the timber of x+1..."
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
The math teacher asks his students: "What is 9 times 7?"
He gets several answers - all are either 62 or 65.
"Come on - the correct answer can either be 62 or 65!"
"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"
"No wonder! He's into scientific computing - and she's incalculable!"
Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any >0!"
Q: What does a mathematician present to his fianc閑 when he wants to propose?
A: A polynomial ring!
The chef instructs his apprentice: "You take two thirds of water, one third of cream, one third of broth..."
The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"
"Well - just take a larger pot!"
A woman in a bar tries to pick up a mathematician.
"How old, do you think, am I?" she asks coyly.
"Well - 18 by that fire in your eyes, 19 by that glow on your cheeks, 20 by that radiance of your face, and adding that up is something you can probably do for yourself..."
Q: What is the most erotic number?
A: 2110593!
Q: Why?
A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3... |
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The difference between Physicists, Mathematician and Engineers.
In 3 different Occasion, a Physicist, Mathematician and an Engineer were given a task to find the value of 慬b]g |
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banyak koleksi chik  |
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Mr.Forensics This user has been deleted
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Mr.Forensics This user has been deleted
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What did zero say to eight?
Nice belt.
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Mathematic proof that Women are evil
first, we state that women require time and money:
Women = time * money
卆nd as we all know, 搕ime is money |
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Mr.Forensics This user has been deleted
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Mr.Forensics This user has been deleted
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Category: Belia & Informasi
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Post time 2-2-2007 11:18 PM
dalam sains & matematik 's life, we must have a lot of funs ~~ kalau tak cepat biol brader ~~ 
变色卡
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