How do we cope with deaths and critical illnesses in a family?

LostSoul

deaths.. critical illnesses.. often break or make a family. recently, my family experienced it. as sudden as it came, all of us were shocked and touched by my grandma's illness. many of us sad, shed many tears, awake for some nights just to make sure she is well taken care of... all of us play many parts in ensuring her well being, beside nurses and doctors at the hospital.

while i was there, i saw ambulans in and out. almost all of those patients were accompanied by a family member. be it a bro, sis, mum, dad, and even a grandma who was so quick to carry her grandkid to the emergency room. how lucky those ppl are.. in their weakest state, they have a family who stand by their side, ready to go an extra mile, anytime, just to make sure their pain is alleviated. and make me think of my grandma, how lucky she is, to have all of us, who loves her well, and take turn to watch by her bedside.

this makes me wonder: what's gonna happen to those who have no immediate family to love them, no wife, no husband, no kids, no parents when they fall sick.. contracted disease that left them handicapped?  we can say that nurses and doctors will be there, and if that eprson is so rich, he can have the best medical treatment in town, a helper, but none would beat of having a FAMILY, who care for us because they love us. it's because of the bonds that we have and nurtured, will surpass more than  cares provided by those medical experts. FAMILY is an essence that help us go through bad time like this.. we may be bed ridden, but having a family surrounded us, seeing their smiles, listening to their prayers, all that will make this painful ordeal a bearable event.

and this makes me feel that having a FAMILY is a blessing from God... small or big it might be, just to know that we have someone whom we can count on when we are suffering from illness, priceless..

so, how you guys cope with a tragic incident in a family? what makes you guys come together at this moment of time?

WARNING: NO ENTRY/POSTING WHATSOEVER IN THIS THREAD FOR MANAKAUTAU. MODS, PLS TAKE ACTION IS HE STILL DID THIS.

[ Last edited by  LostSoul at 30-1-2009 11:38 AM ]

putubambu

this makes me wonder: what's gonna happen to those who have no immediate family to love them, no wife, no husband, no kids, no parents when they fall sick..

LostSoul

tu yg wa rasa put.. while i was there... org ramai melawat means the person has so many who love her/him.. bayangkan family sanggup mengadakan masa, masing2 bekerja/berniaga, hanya utk dtg melawat yg sakit. dtglah dlm bentuk mcmana pun, senantiasa ada family member di sisi utk menemani.

mmg terharu sungguh la beb masa disana.. dpt menyaksikan kekuatan tali kekeluargaan, even sifat2 kemanusiaan bila kat sana..

mala0n

aku ada kenal org yg ada potensi mati kering sorg2

sian...harap dia ingat tuhan supaya tidak rasa kesorangan

afja

hmmm..... cemana ekk....
rasa mcm hilang separuh nyawa.....
la ni tinggal nyawa2 ikan jek

ingat lg adik tepon nangis2 dr hospital bg tau mak ada kanser stage 4.....
dr panggil adik dulu.... then bila mak tanya...adik ckp x sakit apa?

then bila dr panggil mak..... adik tanya sakit apa...... mak ckp x ada sakit apa2.... sambil kesat mata   - awal thn 2003

lps tu..... kami redha dengan ketentuan Tuhan..... kami usahakan apa yg patut.... tp Tuhan lebih sygkan mak..... new year 2005 mak dijemput Tuhan.... (dlm tempoh tu...kira kami dah bersedia.... bila2 masa shj Tuhan akan menjemput. if ayah tepon jek....hati mesti berdebar sambil berdoa....bukan berita yg menyedihkan akan didengari)

still segar dlm ingatan..... mak ckp : dah la urutkan bdn aku. aku nk tido   (time ni lps maghrib). then tido la mak. kul 12am..... adik tersedar pi toilet.... then tgk mak. tetiba adik kejut aku nangis2..... aku terkejut gila time tuh (yer la tgh tido kepenatan. satu ari perjalanan - keta x ada lg. naik bas) aku tgk mak....rasa nadinya.... Allahu Akbar.... mak mmg dah x ada   aku menangis tang tu jugak. satu rumah tersedar.... (siangnya mak asik sebut nama aku jek...tanya mana aku....kenapa x sampai2 lg? )

lps tu....abg aku sebok tepon kakak n abg aku.... bg tau sedara mara..... kul 4am.... abg aku sampai..... kakak ipar aku terus pengsan (dia ni lemah sikit orgnya).... kakak aku kat johor....sampai kul 1ptg....x sempat dia tgk mak aku..... sbb dia dlm pantang. baru 15 hari....

apa ntah aku mepek nih. lari tajuk ke x ekk?

tp tu la kenangan yg akan terpahat dlm ingatan sampai bila....

putubambu

ish..biar benar ni AJ...

LostSoul

biasanye, org mcm ni takkan sedar dia akan mati kering sorang2...

sbb tu kita jgn lupa, hidup kita ni interdependent dgn org lain, bersangkut paut.. mungkinlah ada sesetengah manusia tu kata "takpe, aku mati sorang2 pun takpe, Allah itu ada". but at the same time, meragah cube tangkap muat sapa2 saje utk dijadikan pasangannya...   dan Allah takkan hampir dgn manusia yg senantisa bergelumang dgn maksiat.. contohnye, mereka yg bersekedudukan dgn teman wanita yg bukan Islam selama bertahun2.. ini contoh la kan..

putubambu

sedihnya.. al-fatihah buat arwah

tehlaut

Originally posted by afja at 29-1-2009 04:45 PM
hmmm..... cemana ekk....
rasa mcm hilang separuh nyawa.....
la ni tinggal nyawa2 ikan jek

ingat lg adik tepon nangis2 dr hospital bg tau mak ada kanser stage 4.....
dr panggil adik dul ...

aku tk tau aku mampu tk hadapinya......

LostSoul

apja.. sedih aku membaca kisah arwah mak hang..

tpkan apja, betapa beruntungnye dia punya anak2 cam hang n adik badik.. dan aku pasti apja, sampai skg masih memanjatkan doa & sedekahkan Al Fatihah utk dia kan apja..

aku ari tu camtu gak, bila tgk keadaan nenek aku... sedihhhh.. Allah aje yg tau.. tp aku teringat kembali kenangan2 bersama dia. bagi aku, dia dah melakukan yg terbaik dlm hidup dia.. utk kami semua. sebutkata dia pergi, mmg aku akan sedih sgt2, teramat sedih.. tp aku pasti, dia ke tempat yg lebih baik..

safada

No wonder masyarakat kita harinih biar laki dicurangi takper...sembunyikan darinya at all cost,jangan sampai bercerai.....

Rupanya takut nanti nak mati takdok orang yang nak ziarah.......


pelik aku tgk mcmni punya reply.?  
tak semestinya suami je yg dimaksudkan...
kalau org tu yatimpiatu ke apa.... bukan ke tak de org yg nak dtg menziarah....

putubambu

safada..
kat FD ni mmg byk posting yg pelik lagi memelikkan..
cam mistik gitu..

kalau rasa tak boleh terima ignore je yek..

LostSoul

beb, when the time comes, all of us have to face this sometimes.. tak boleh nak kenangkan, but it will happen, inevitably..

misy

baru kehilangan kawan raya lepas, sbb kanser
laki bini kawan aku..terharu tgk camana layanan suami dia until the end.. yg best tu walaupun dah bawak balik rumah &  mcm takde harapan, diorang masih lagi tak putus asa, masa kali terakhir pegi melawat arwah, suami dia cerita mcmana seleranya wife dia skrg, wife dia pun nampak tenang walaupun masa tu dia semput semput nak nafas, time dia betul betul sedar dia akan cakap macam biasa... rupanya 3 hari selepas tu arwah dah tiada...jenazahnya nampak tenang sewaktu dikapan ...
pada aku kehadiran org org tersayang disisi pada saat cam ni umpama bagi kekuatan pada kita utk menempuhi kesakitan atau kematian

nurulcomfykid

masa tok aku meninggal dulu, aku tak nangis pun. masa dpt kol kata tok dah takde, kami smua siap2, terus drive balik kulim. mmg aku tak nangis langsung. denial kot.

tapi, sebulan pas tu, kami dok plan nak balik kulim, aku da excited nak jumpak tok. Then aku tersedaq bila aku sampai sana nanti, tok takkan tunggu aku kat tangga rumah lagi.

Time tu aku mcm tersedq dari mimpi. aku terus nangis kuat2. sambil drive time tu. sepanjang aku drive dari shah alam balik ke kepong (adalah dlm 45 mins kot).

That was the closure for me.

LostSoul

sis, same as what i felt. having loved ones beside us during this difficult time cukup utk membuatkan kita lebih tabah menghadapi masa2 mendtg..

teringat pulak tragedi masa 1st time bawak nenek ke hospital alot gajah. ada satu family ni, diapun hantar maknye ke wad emergency. maknye ada penyakit 3 serangkai, slalunye tak mau ke hospital. cume ari ni maknye ckp dgn anaknye, hantarlah dia ke hospital. sampai shj kat depan pintu wad emergency tu, maknye terus coma.. tried to resuscitate for 1/2 hour, still takde.

wa nampak anak2nye tenang menerima berita duka. tiba2 shj org yg kita sayang mungkin pergi selama2nya.. time is percious kan sis..

nurulcomfykid

masa aku dengar anak kawan aku, umur 7 bulan meninggal ( www.memorizulaikha.blogspot.com ) , aku yg macam nak putus nyawa.

only mothers can understand.

afja

kalau nk ckp psl penderitaan menghadapi saat kesukaran tu.... tak terungkap dengan kata2.....

bygkan... mak yg dulu kita lihat....segar bugar.... buat itu ini.... masak n bla bla....untuk kita.....
yg riuh rendah... bila anak/cucu balik.... x kira la raya ke apa...
mak yg akan sibuk menjahit baju....terutama bila musim raya/sekolah (sampai merungut....mak ni asik menjahit jek!)
mak yg hantar aku nk naik bas (nk balik asrama/keja) kat jln bsr bwh rumah.....
n mcm2 lah......
tiba2...terbaring lesu.... tinggal tulang..... mmg sedih.... mmg sayu hati tgk....

teringat2 lg.... salinkan baju mak.... mandikan....suapkan mak....sikatkan rambut (eben rambut akan gugur byk akibat kemoterapi) n bla bla bla.... sambil menangis tunduk2.... mak ckp : kau menangis yerk?

tu perasaan aku..... yg balik 2x sebulan...selama mak sakit.....(balik naik bas. mkn masa lama....  1 ari)
adik/ayah aku yg jaga mak.....aku x tau lah..... aku x penah tanya. takut dia sedih.... tp aku pasti..... mcmana aku sedih.... dia pasti lg sedih

sebenarnya......aku mmg sensitif bila ada trid sebut psl mak....lg2 trid nih.....
aku sedih tau ni..... mengalir air mata aku....
kenapa ekk aku bercerita perasaaan aku?
mungkin aku rindukan mak!

got to go....sambung menangis kat umah

LostSoul

nurul, its like delayed reaction. nenek aku mengalami scenario sama masa arwah atuk meninggal.. lama jugak dia dok termenung.. berckp sorang diri (katanye berckp dgn arwah atok).. kadang2 menangis.. yelah, lama dah mereka bersama...

nurulcomfykid

that's why we cant take people around us for granted. ALWAYS appreciate them, for TIME is a luxury we can never afford.