|
|
Nie copy paste drp internet:
Probably at one time or another you have been either on the givingor receiving end of a silent treatment, otherwise known as the coldshoulder. What you probably didn’t realize is that the silent treatmentis a form of ostracism. When someone is ostracized it affects the partof their brain called the anterior cingulate cortex. Do you know whatthe anterior cingulate cortex does?
The anterior cingulate cortex is the part of the brain that detectspain. When you give someone the silent treatment you are causing thatperson physical pain. Simply by ignoring someone else’s existence youcan inflict pain on them. This is what the ever popular “time out” witha child is so effective. The child feels ostracized, therefore isfeeling pain even though no physical pain was inflicted on them, andtherefor they want to behave so they don’t have to feel that way again.
The silent treatment can be a very destructive behavior when itinvolves personal relationships. Let’s say with a husband and wife forinstance. The silent treatment breeds bitterness on both ends and itborders on emotional abuse… I’m not making that up to be dramatic.That’s what “they” say.
Cooling Off And Ostracizing Are Two Very Different ThingsLet’s not confuse the silent treatment with something known as “thecooling off period”. The cooling off period is where one person is soangry or disgusted by the other person that they just cannot deal withthe situation in that state need time to calm down before they begin tospeak to this person. That’s fine and actually that’s probably betterthan sitting and screaming at each other.
There is a big difference between taking some time to cool down andoutright ignoring the existence of the other person. The silenttreatment would be more along the lines of you doing something thatpisses someone off, they clue you in on it (or not), and then theydon’t speak to you, acknowledge you or even make eye contact with youfor sometimes days. No good.
To me, this is a form of torture. Nothing positive comes from thistype of behavior. What makes more sense…blowing up about something,cooling off a little and then talking about how to resolve it OR notblowing up about something, staying completely pissed and not doinganything to help resolve the situation? If you said the latter… you’rea dick.
When someone is administering the silent treatment they are tryingto show that they are dominant over you. The silent treatment (when itbecomes a mutual one) is a power struggle in pain tolerance…whomeverthe winner is, cares less.
When You Are On The Receiving End Of The Silent Treatment It’s interesting to me that research has shown that woman and menrespond to the silent treatment very differently. Woman who are on thereceiving end of the silent treatment seem to try anything in theirpower to win back their good grace with the ostracize where men…don’t.They just deal with it.
But what exactly are the men just dealing with and the woman tryingto avoid? The emotional pain associated with being ostracized. Thosewho have been treated to the silent treatment have reported as sense ofloss, of not belonging, of lower self-esteem and a feeling ofunworthiness. All of these feelings are the result of someone just notacknowledging them or ignoring them. I find that pretty interesting.
I can say that I honestly don’t ever remember giving someone thesilent treatment…not anyone that it would matter to anyway. I don’tthink I have it in me to do that to someone. Why you ask? Because I’vehad it done to me, I know what it feels like and it totally sucks. I’mmore the type of person that would like to blow up about something,probably say some things I don’t really mean, apologize for saying thethings I don’t really mean and then move towards resolution. Buthey…that’s just me.
Bincangkan pengalaman anda berkenaan silent treatment. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Nie copy paste drp internet:
Those who have been treated to the silent treatment have reported as sense of loss, of not belonging, of lower self-esteem and a feeling ofunworthiness.
jadree00 Post at 30-3-2010 22:41 
As for me, I'm the one who's on the giving end of silent treatment. But as the article said, men (in this case, my hubby) just deals with it. Attitudenya...be it. Nak senyap, sudah. So, the one who always end up feeling a sense of loss, of not belonging is me, not my husband. Ingat silent nak majuk, tapi tak dipujuk pun. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
selalu bagi, tak pernah dapat.
orang yang menerima tu pulak... selalu pretend macam takde ape2 berlaku. dok buat2 lawak dgn kita macam biasa  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
dolu2 ade gaks le bagi silent treatment nih...but as others said, the other half buat derk ajer...cam tak paham..buang karen, buang mase...sakit hati lagi ader...
so, better speak out your mind......ada byk cara nak luahkan; tak bleh berdepan, email, sms, mms...post-it-note |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Whichever way that works.....to the betterment of the relationship.....going forward. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
macam saya, walaupun the other party tak tersinggung di'silenttreatment'kan, dok bergurau jugak dgn kita macam biasa, it works better than email & sms, sebab confirm dia tak baca punya.
nak tunjuk kemarahan berdepan (bila bagi silent treatment tu tanda me tgh marah la tu), susah sikit, sebab takut me jadi macam krakatoa pulak.
bila berdiam, the other party tahu me tengah marah. so dia buat2 lawak nak bagi me ketawa. and also akan pujuk and mintak maaf. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
my other half akan wat lawak bangang...memujuk & minta maaf takde dalam kamus idup dia |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
i'm really in the couldnt care less stage. practically not talking, not looking and not bothering.. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Silent treatment....do he care.. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
aku dah lebih 10 tahun hidup dgn lelaki yang suka buat silent treatment ni. Kdg2 aku boleh cope kdg2 rasa macam bawak kereta dan rempuh trailer depan aku sebab dada aku rasa sesak yang amat, sebab aku tak boleh nak luahkan perasaan.
Sehingga sekarang ni, banyak juga benda yang aku simpan walaupun mula dari perkara kecik, lama2 berkumpul. Sebabnya aku bukanlah seorg prempuan yang keras hati. Cuma disebabkan aku ni jenis tak suka mengadu masalah rumahtangga sesuka hati aku. AKu tak penah buat perangai lari rumah mak aku kalau ada problem. Lebih2 lagi pada kawan2, lagi diorg takkan dengar aku mengadu masalah.
Agaknya sebab tulah aku rasa beban perasaan tu sebab satu2 nya tempat utk aku mencurahkan perasaan bila bergaduh tu dah ditutup rapat.
Cuma aku sabar dgn suami aku bila buat perangai mcam tu sebagai salah satu kekurangan dia, sebab selain dari tu, takde apa2 yang kurang pada dia sebagai suami. Selalunya aku akan mintak maaf dan cium tangan dia sebab aku taknak benda berlanjutan dan anak2 aku perasan. Impact mak ayah bergaduh akan lebih pd anak. Diorg akan rasa insecured. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
sometimes silent is golden.
sampai bila nak memendam rasa, sampai bila nak sakit hati. mmg sakit bila bertahun2 dpt silent treatment nie. there is no more words n action to describe n do. kekurangan pasangan yg tidak dpt diperbaikki lagi. take it or leave!
so silent n let go is the best therapy. sekali sekala merapu tak hengat kat forum nie |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Silent treatment ni rasanya lagi baik dari membebel, pasal kalau kita marah2, cakap banyak, takut tercakap apa yang kita tak patut cakap sampai orang yang kita marah tu terluka. Buat masalah tu lagi lah besar.
Tapi kan pada akemi kalau akemi kena silent treatment ni tak tau mana lagi sakit hati bila kena, silent treatment ke, atau kena bebel. Kalau kena bebel, boleh jawab balik... he he he... tapi kalau kena silent treatment ni, boleh naik meroyan dibuatnya...  Tegur tak jawab, kita buat lawak, tak ketawa... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
i'm really in the couldnt care less stage. practically not talking, not looking and not bothering..
m3dusa Post at 31-3-2010 12:47 
hahaha......acik tergolong dlm category nie. couldnt care less stage. so i understand how u feel |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2# Vvenus
baper lama silent treatment? camner boleh okay semula? before kawen mmg dah sikap dia gini kah? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
3# mclaren
apa tujuan u bagi silent treatment yer...sian kat your other half tau |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
8# mclaren
u mean sorang air and sorang api gituh...so balance ler pasangan tuh.
tapi kan kalu asyik kena jadik air jek...letih tuh. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
12# Core
tahniah di atas kesabaran...
boleh share biasanya apa punca u kena silent treatment dan kekerapannya...
p/s- sdg menuntut ilmu psikologi nie drp kekawan |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
gini citernya...jad bukak topik nie sbb nak memahami isi hati orang yg buat silent treatment.
jad kira dah 2 kali kena silent treatment selepas luahkan rasa tak puas hati kat tunang jad pasal isu sama. tgh pikir samada cara jad bagitau tak betulkah? and also tgh pikir samada kami nie serasikah?
the first time kena berminggu gak kalu tak lupa. the second time is now tapi dia bagi alasan h/p rosak & e-mel dia still reply...actually salah jad ada juga bcoz i ungkit something berkaitan kes lama. ker jad yg buruksangka dia bagi silent treatment?
p/s- sebelum uols tanya umur, nak bagi tau umur sama2 dah tua 30+. letih tau dah tua2 kena treatment gini. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
Post time 30-3-2010 10:41 PM
变色卡
Author
