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Hawk's Corner - Jokes and Romantic Stories n Quotations
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BLONDES' MEDICAL DICKTIONARY
Artery厖厖.Study of paintings
Bacteria厖厖Backdoor to cafeteria
Barium厖厖..What to do when treatment fails
Bowel厖厖 |
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Awu ada Hawk menerima ni dulu arah email. It's a good one! |
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[quote]Originally posted by chichi at 30-5-2007 05:38 PM
BLONDES' MEDICAL DICKTIONARY
Artery厖厖.Study of paintings
Bacteria厖厖Backdoor to cafeteria
Barium厖厖..What to do when treatment fails
Bowel厖厖 |
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HOYAAAAAAAAAAAA!
It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the native American vote.
They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech.
The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for native Americans!"
The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!"
The politician was a bit puzzled by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm.
"I promise gambling reforms to allow a casino on the reservation!"
"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.
"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for native Americans!"
The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"
After the speech, the politician was touring the reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle.
Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle.
"Sure," the chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya." |
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PARROT NYANYAHHH
A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.
"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only $20."
"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.
"Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch flowery".
"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home.
Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at The woman. "F===! .... me, a new brothel and a new madam".
"I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel," scolds the woman trying not to laugh.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.
"Un-f===king-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters.
"Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes," complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband, Dave, comes home.
"In-f==king-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients .... How ya doin', Dave?"
Silence...... |
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Sejarah Melaka - kenapa Kedah & Perlis tak diserang Portugis
1508
Alfonso De Albuquerque meyampaikan hasratnya kepada raja
portugis untuk meluaskan pegaruhnya ke asia tenggara (melaka
pusat perdagangan asia tenggara ketika itu) dan juga laluan
penting perdagangan timur barat raja portugis bersetuju untuk
menyediakan kemudahan bala tentera (158 biji kapal, 15300
anggaran) bala tentera
1509
Portugis menhantar perisik ke melaka untuk megetahui keadaan
kekuatan pertahanan disana
Oct 1511
alfonso berjaya menawan melaka setelah berhempas pulas
melawan 5 pahlawan melayu terhandal (hang tuah, hang lekir,
hang lekiu, hang jebat dan hang kasturi) ini adalah mimpi
ngeri bagi pihak alfonso, untuk menawan melaka serta berlawan
dengan 5 Hang bersaudara, mereka perlu mendapat askar
tambahan setelah 15k askarnya terkorban dalam pertempuran
selama 6 hari itu dengan 5 Hang bersaudara..akhirnya dapat
juga menawan melaka setelah hampir kecewa dan putus asa...
1513
setahun 12 bulan kemudian alfonso ingin meluaskan
kekuasaannya ke kedah dan p.pinang, yang ketika itu adalah
pusat pegeluaran tebu untuk gula rantau ini
Feb 1514
alfonso menghantar perisik ke kedah dan pulau pinang untuk
mengetahui kekuatan bala tentera di sana (Kedah dan p.pinang)
mengikut sejarah, perisiknya telah ke kedai kopi sekitar
kedah dan pulau pinang untuk mendapat segala maklumat yang
diperlukan...
Semiggu selepas Feb 1915
Perisik balik ke melaka untuk memberitakan hasil risikan
kepada Alfonso
Dibawah adalah perbualan percakapan antara perisik dengan
alfonso yang selama ini cuba disembunyikan dalam buku sejarah
Perisik 1.2.3. > selamat pagi tuan (sambil bertabik)
alfonso > selamat pagi
Perisik 1 > Begini lah tuan, lupakan saja niat tuan untuk
menawan kedah dan pulau pinang
alfonso > Kenapa kuat sangat kah mereka itu..? (dengan nada marah)
Perisik 2 > Untuk menawan melaka yang mempunyai 5 pahlawan
terhandal Hang tuah, hang jebat, hang kasturi, hang lekir dan
hang lekiu pun kita kehilangan hampir 15k bala tentera,
inikan pula kita nak menawan kedah dan perlis yang mempunyai
beribu ribu hang..
Perisik 3 > Betoi tu tuan...antaranya hang sihat, hang buat
apa, hang apa khabar, hang lagu mana, hang pi mana, hang nak
p mana, hang singgah dulu,
hang gila, bapak hang, mak hang, adik hang, tok hang ,
mampuih p kat hang, piiirrrrrrah hang, hang kata hang tera,
pulut mak hang ka dan macam-macam
lagi hang ada kat sana.....
Mendengar hasil risikan itu alfonso pun tak jadi nak pi
serang kedah, Perlis dan Pulau Pinang disebabkan
pengalamannya sebelum ini bersama 5 pahlawan melayu Melaka
amat ngeri......ini kan pula nak berhadapan beribu-ribu "hang".  |
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Category: Negeri & Negara
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Post time 30-5-2007 03:29 PM
Author
