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anything to share,your thoughts,feelings anything under the sun....
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A man can go two weeks without eating but if he doesn't rest at all,
he can
only survive for one week.
Sleeping provides us the time to rest our internal organs, eyes and
brains.
Poor sleep quality can cause internal damage to our internal organs and
brains therefore, sleeping is very important to us. If you wish to have
a
long life and stay healthy, please take note of the advice below.
5 DON'TS when you are sleeping¨
1) DON'T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if
you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects
on your health.
2) DON'T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more
than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without
it.
3) DON'T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not
encouraged.
Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the
phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items
including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These
waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to
put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.
4) DON'T SLEEP WITH MAKE-UP ada sorang hb nya family used to sleep with her makeup
People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run.
Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in
breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go
into deep sleep.
5) DON'T SLEEP WITH OTHERS' WIFE
You may never wake up again!! |
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Originally posted by gadis_aries at 18-8-2005 05:28 PM
Bapa Pengemis, Tiga-tiga Anak kat Universiti!
GEMPARRRR...!
Membaca artikel mengenai pengemis sebelum ini, teringat saya satu kisah.
Walaupun berpendapatan tetap, kita sering ...
:lol ni good joke ah, aku ingat ceta serious |
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Tadi Aries check thread PETUA dah takde pun....so Aries tepek kat sini aje lah....
Sakit Kepala
Daun sirih diramas kedalam air sejuk serta dimasukkan seketul garam jantan untuk di buat jaram (disapu atau dititik sehingga membasahi kulit kepala).
Ubat Pening Kepala
Jika kepala anda terasa berat kerana kurang tidur atau pening kepala kerana mabuk dalam perjalanan, anda boleh ambil tiga biji limau nipis, dibelah dua sebiji anda gosokkan pada kepala yang telah dibasahi air, biarkan selama lima minit, setelah itu barulah anda mandi dengan air limau yang dua biji tadi. Caranya dengan meramaskan limau tersebut pada sebaldi air kemudian jirus clan gosoklah pada badan anda.Setelah itu keringkan badan anda tanpa membilasnya dengan air yang lain, lakukan dua kali sehari sehingga rasa pening anda hilang.
Menghilangkan Mabuk
Jika anda mabuk kerana menaiki kenderaan, anda boleh berbekalkan sebiji limau. Ciumlah hmau tersebut semasa dalam perjalanan, Insya‑Allah rasa, meloya anda akan hilang.Selain dari itu jika ada sahabat atau kaum kerabat anda yang Caranya:Ambil sebuku asam jawa, ramas dengan sedikit air, setelah sapukan air tersebut pada umbun‑umbun dan seluruh kepala, biarkan air asam jawa itu kering di kepala. Anda akan dapati demam anda atau anak anda akan mulai turun. Lakukan sehingga benar‑benar sembuh.
Petua |
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Satu pagi di stesen keretapi, ada satu makcik tu dia tanya petugas
kaunter...
Makcik: "Anak, keretapi sampai jam berapa??"
Petugas kaunter: "Jam 2 Kedah, jam 5 Kelantan, jam 1 Penang, jam 7
Gemas. Makcik nak pergi mana?.."
Makcik: "Makcik nak melintas aja." |
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Suami isteri bertengkar. Tiba-tiba isteri terus kemas beg.
Suami: "Kenapa?"
Isteri: "Dah kahwin 10 tahun, rumah ni tak pernah aman. Saya dah tak
tahan. Saya nak tinggalkan rumah ni!"
Suami kemudian masuk bilik dan keluarkan satu lagi beg.
Suami: "Betul jugak cakap awak. Saya pun fed-up dengan rumah ini. Saya ikut sama, boleh?!" |
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A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an
oncoming truck and everyone inside dies.
When they get to meet their maker, because of the
grief they have experienced, He decides to grant
them one wish each before they enter Heaven.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one
what their wish is.
"I want to be gorgeous."
So God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line this and says,
"I want to be gorgeous too."
Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be
gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line,the
last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is
rolling on the floor,laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what
his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and
says:
"Make 'em all ugly again."
So, the next time you are last in line...smile! |
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Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday,teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday,she said 4+4=8
And on Wednesday,she said 6+2=8.
If she can't make up her mind,how do I know the right answer? |
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Old lady : Doctor,I've got a pain in my left leg.
Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age.
Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg. |
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Posmen
======
Seorang posmen yang datang menghantar surat.
" Assalamualaikum "
" Walaikumsalam "
" Ni rumah encik encik Sameon ye?
" Ya saya"
" Poning kepala saya mencari alamat rumah encik ni "
" Buat susah aje encik nie! Apsal tak pos aje" |
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A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car???!!!"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents.
"We know what a Porsche costs."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."
So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.
It was the lady up the street," said the boy."I don't know her name--they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Dear God," moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!
He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but it seems he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and doesn't intend to come back. He asked me
to sell his new Porsche and send him the money."
"So I did." |
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Tersebutlah kisah dua orang hantu. Mereka ni baru bertemu lalu mereka pun berborakla untuk mengisi masa lapang kehidupan mereka sebagai hantu. Sepanjang perbualan mereka, Hantu B ni tak habis-habis menggigil. Lalu, Hantu A yang kehairanan ni pun bertanya,
"Apsal kau ni asyik menggigil je?"
"Oh..cara aku mati dulu teruk..aku mati dalam peti ais...sejuk!!" Jawab Hantu B sambil menggigil lagi.
"Ooo..kesian... aku dulu mati sebab heart attack." Kata Hantu A ramah.
"Kau memang sakit jantung kronik ye? Apsal ko tak gi buat operation? Kalau tak, sure kau tengah lepak-lepak ngan family kau sekarang." Balas Hantu B.
"Dah,aku dah buat dah !In fact mase aku mati tu, aku in recovery. Panjang ceritanya..." jawab Hantu A sayu.
"Ceritala sikit..Sambil-sambil lepak nih.."
"Camni..Aku syak isteri aku main kayu tiga ngan aku. So this one day, aku ingat nak perangkap la isteri aku..Aku pura-pura gi keje tapi actually aku park keta aku kat simpang hujung umah aku je. Seperti yang aku syak, masuk sebuah keta kat carpark umah aku. Aku rilex dulu sebab nak carik mase sesuai tangkap diorang."
"So, ko dapatla tangkap diorang?" tanya Hantu B penuh minat.
"Tak. Aku cume jumpe isteri aku je kat dalam bilik. Yang aku heran, mase aku masuk umah tu, aku nampak ade kasut laki kat pintu umah aku. Aku tanye isteri aku tapi die takmo jawab. So aku pun lari-lari sekeliling umah aku nak carik jantan tuh. Abis sume bilik aku carik tapi takde pun.. Last-last, sebab aku penat sangat berlari carik jantan tuh, aku pun jatuh pengsan sebab heart attack. And aku tak sangka aku mati lak..." kata Hantu A mengakhiri ceritanya dengan kesedihan.
Hantu B terdiam mendengarkan cerita Hantu A. Selepas beberapa ketika, Hantu B berkata,
"Kenapa kau tak check kat dalam peti sejuk? Kalau kau check kat situ, sure kita berdua still hidup lagi. |
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Essay Writing(School Composition)
Ted is 7-yr old n he's very bad in essay writing.
one day the teacher asked the class to write a 500-word essay base on
any title they like.
Ted thought real hard n finally he started his essay:
Titled: Composition - my lost cat
One day i lost my kitty, i went out to the street n started calling:
"kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty
kitty kitty..." but she never comes back, that's how i lost my cat.
(510 words) |
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The wife is busy frying eggs, when her husband comes home.
He walks into the kitchen and immediately starts yelling:
"CAREFULL!!! CAREFULL!!! MORE OIL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!! WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!! CAREFULL!!! CAREFULL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!"
The wife is very upset: "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"
The husband calmly replies: "This is to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving and you sit next to me..." |
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6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING!!!
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I
can stay up by myself. |
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Johan dilahirkan tanpa telinga, tetapi walaupun cacat dia berjawatan tinggi di sebuah bank.Satu hari dia mahu mengambil kerani baru dan tiga orang disenarai pendek untuk sesi temuduga. Calon pertama seorang lelaki yang mempunyai penampilan yang baik. Tetapi diakhir temuduga Johan bertanya satu soalan kepada lelaki itu.
"Awak nampak tak sesuatu yang ganjil pada saya?"
"Ya, tapi minta maaf kalau saya kata tuan tak ada telinga,"jawab lelaki itu dengan jujur. Merasa terhina dengan jawapan itu,Johan mengusirnya keluar dari pejabat.
Calon kedua ialah seorang perempuan yang berpengalaman bekerja di bank hampir 5 tahun. Dia lebih baik dari calon pertama tadi. Tetapi diakhir sesi temuduga, Johan bertanya soalan yang sama ditanya pada calon pertama.
"Awak nampak tak sesuatu yang ganjil pada saya?"
"Eeemmm... .tuan tak ada telinga," sebaik mendengar jawapan dari perempuan itu,Johan berang dan menghalaunya keluar.
Calon terakhir adalah yang terbaik, walaupun masih muda dia telahbekerja lebih 8 tahun di bank. Selain bijak dia juga tampan dan bergaya.Seperti calon terdahulu Johan bertanya soalan serupa.
"Awak nampak tak sesuatu yang ganjil pada saya?"
"Ya. Awak pakai contact lens," jawab pemuda itu,walaupun terkejut, Johan gembira dengan jawapan pemuda itu.Dia hairan kerana pemuda itu sangat teliti dan dapat melihatnya memakai contact lens walaupun mereka duduk agak jauh.
"Bagaimana awak tau" tanya Johan lagi. Pemuda itu ketawa besar hingga jatuh terguling-guling sambil berkata
" Dah tentu tuan tak boleh pakai cermin mata sebab tuan tak ada telinga". |
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>>
>> InsyaAllah. Buat semua, pada yang dah berkahwin, baru nak kawin ataupun
>> akan kahwin nanti, kisah ini biarlah tersemat didalam jiwa...
>>
>> Kira-Kira 15 hari yang lalu, seorang hamba Allah (si A),telah pun kembali
>> ke rahmatullah secara mengejut (kerana sakit jantung). Allahyarham adalah
>> merupakan seorang yang amat dihormati dan disegani di kampung beliau.
>>
>> Semasa jenazah Allahyarham diletakkan di ruang tamu rumahnya sementara
>> menunggu untuk diuruskan oleh saudara-mara dan sahabat handai, isteri
>> Allahyarham tidak berhenti-henti meratapi jenazahnya sambil
>> merungut-rungut.
>>
>> Si penulis (penulis asal cerita ini) yang kebetulan anak saudara
>> Allahyarham, ada di sebelah balu Allahyarham pada ketika itu. Beliau
>> merasa
>> amat hairan dengan sikap balu arwah itu. Si balu sepatutnya membaca
>> ayat-ayat suci al-Quran untuk dihadiahkan kepada arwah. Kira-kira 10
>> minit
>> kemudian, kakak ipar arwah (kakak balunya) pun sampai. Beliau turut
>> merasa
>> hairan dengan sikap adiknya yang meratapi dan merungut itu, lantas beliau
>> melarang adiknya berbuat demikian sambil bertanya akan sebabnya.
>>
>> Penulis yang masih berada disitu merasa amat terkejut apabila mendengar
>> jawapan yang diberikan oleh balu Allahyarham itu. Antara jawapannya
>> ialah:
>>
>> Suaminya tidak membuat suratwasiat (yang sebenarnya ada). Tanah pusaka
>> milik suaminya tidak sempat ditukarkan ke nama beliau dan anak-anaknya.
>> Suaminya tidak sempat memindahkan saham syarikat suaminya bersama-sama
>> adik-adiknya kepada beliau (Allahyarham memegang saham sebanyak 50% dan 5
>> orang adik-adiknya memegang 10% setiap seorang).
>>
>> Untuk makluman, arwah adalah seorang yang agak berjaya dalam
>> perniagaannya.
>> Syarikat yang diuruskan oleh arwah sangat maju dewasa ini. Di samping
>> itu,
>> arwah memiliki kira-kira 12 ekar tanah dipinggir Putra Jaya dan kira-kira
>> 50 ekar di sekitar kawasan Sepang/Dengkil.
>>
>> Setelah seminggu arwah dikebumikan, peguam arwah memanggil waris-warisnya
>> untuk dibacakan suratwasiat arwah. Penulis juga turut dipanggil tanpa
>> mengetahui akan sebabnya. Allahyarham mempunyai 4 orang anak, yang sulong
>> masih lagi bersekolah di tingkatan 4 manakala yang bongsunya berusia 6
>> tahun.
>>
>> Antara kandungan suratwasiat Allahyarham ialah: 30% syer perniagaannya
>> diserahkan kepada anak saudara perempuannya yang juga ahli perniagaan dan
>> 20% lagi diagihkan sama rata kepada anak-anaknya dengan anak saudara
>> perempuannya sebagai pemegang amanah.
>>
>> Tanah pusakanya seluas 10 ekar di pinggir Putra Jaya dibahagikan sama
>> rata
>> kepada anak-anak perempuannya (2 orang) dan 2 ekar untuk anak saudara
>> lelakinya yang juga pemegang amanah untuk anak-anak perempuannya.
>>
>> Anak-anak lelakinya yang berumur 14 dan 10 tahun, diberikan tanah 15 ekar
>> seorang dengan saudara lelakinya sebagai pemegang amanah. Saham-sahamnya
>> diserahkan kepada anak-anaknya dan dibahagikan mengikut hukum syarak dan
>> diuruskan oleh saudara perempuannya yang diberi 20%.
>>
>> Wang tunainya di bank (persendirian diamanahkan kepada kakaknya untuk
>> menampung pembiayaan anak-anaknya jika isterinya tidak berkahwin lagi).
>> Jika isterinya berkahwin lagi, beliau meminta peguamnya meminta mahkamah
>> memberikan hak penjagaan anak-anaknya kepada kakaknya. Rumah dan tapak
>> rumahnya diwakafkan untuk anak-anak yatim Islam dan sebuah surau dan
>> hendaklah diserahkan kepada Majlis Agama Islam. Harta-hartanya yang lain
>> iaitu 2 buah kereta diberikan kepada adik lelakinya yang ketiga dan
>> kelima;
>> manakala baki tanah 20 ekar dibahagikan sama rata kepada adik-adik dan
>> kakaknya.
>>
>> Setelah selesai wasiat tersebut dibaca, isterinya membantah keras kerana
>> tiada satu pun harta yang diserahkan kepadanya melainkan sebuah proton
>> saga
>> yang tidak dimasukkan dalam wasiat tersebut (yang memang digunakan oleh
>> isterinya).
>>
>> Belum sempat isterinya terus membantah, peguam Allahyarham membacakan
>> satu
>> kenyataan mengenai isterinya yang terkandung dalam wasiat itu.
>>
>> "Isteriku tidak akan kuberikan apa-apa kecuali pengampunan. Terlalu
>> banyak
>> dosanya kepadaku. Maka pengampunan adalah hadiah yang paling berharga."
>>
>> "Tidak pernah aku merasa masakannya sejak mula berkahwin walaupun pernah
>> aku suarakan. Tiada belas kasihan terhadap aku, baik semasa sakit apatah
>> lagi jika aku sihat."
>>
>> "Herdik dan tengking kepada aku dan anak-anak adalah lumrah. Keluar rumah
>> tidak pernah meminta kebenaran daripada aku. Makan dan minum anak-anak
>> adalah tanggungjawab bibik (pembantu rumah). Kain bajuku tidak pernah
>> diuruskan dan yang paling menyedihkan, tiada mahunya dia mendengar
>> pandangan dan nasihatku untuk kesejahteraan rumahtangga."
>>
>> "Kebahagiaan aku selama ini hanya dengan amalanku, tugas seharianku,
>> anak-anakku dan adik-beradikku, terutama kakakku (yang sebagai pengganti
>> ibu)."
>>
>> Selepas peguam Allahyarham membacakan kenyataan itu, barulah penulis
>> faham
>> mengapa balu Allahyarham begitu meratap dan merungut semasa berada disisi
>> jenazahnya. Marilah kita renungi bersama. Semoga dengan apa yang terjadi
>> di
>> atas, akan memberikan satu pengajaran yang berguna kepada kita sebagai
>> umat Islam.
>>
>> Dari Abdullah bin 'Amr r.a., Rasulullah s.a.w.bersabda, "Sampaikanlah
>> pesanku biarpun satu ayat..!
>>
>> |
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HOW BAD IS YOUR TEMPER ACCORDING TO YOUR HOROSCOPE
ARIES MARCH 21 |
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tenjewberrymuds - i couldn't help laughing after reading this!
To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:
Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"
G: "What?"
RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"
G: "I don't think so."
RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'
Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bodder?"
G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Excuse me?"
RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"
G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."
G : "You're very welcome." |
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Category: Negeri & Negara
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Post time 24-8-2005 05:04 PM
