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Hawk's Corner - Jokes and Romantic Stories n Quotations
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hope nobody post this one yet ...
If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk in my garden forever.
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:flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower:
For a moment I thought
I had died and gone to heaven.
Now I see that I am very much alive,
and heaven has been brought to me."
:flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower:
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
:flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower:
You're hot. You must be the reason for global warming.
:flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower: :flower:
p/s: hope this one has not been posted too...
[ Last edited by LailaTempawan at 15-11-2007 05:55 PM ] |
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I'll do anything!
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her.
Before she could offer her apologies for so rudely staring, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20, on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said... "Clean... my... house."
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Made in Japan
A Japanese man was in a hurry to go to the KLIA airport, so he took a Proton taxi. The taxi driver took his sweet time driving within the speed limit but the Jap was getting impatient.
The following is their conversation on the way to the airport.
A Toyota Camry overtook t he taxi.....zoom....
Jap: Look ...look ...Toyota!! ...very fast!!!.... made in Japan! Proton...no good.... made in Malaysia.
Driver: yah....
After a few minutes a Nissan overtook the taxi....zoom.
Jap: look.... look.... Nissan!!!..... very good!! very fast! made in Japan! Proton.... no good.... made in Malaysia
Driver: yah....yah...
After a few minutes a Honda overtook the taxi...zooom. !
Jap: look.... look... Honda!!.... very GOOD!!....very fast!!....made in Japan! Proton...no good...made in Malaysia
Driver: yah...yah...yah....!
Arriving at the airport,the Jap is about to pay the taxi driver.
Jap: How much?
Driver: RM150/-
Jap: Oh... very expensive..... you overcharge ! !
Driver: Noooo .... look .... look .... Sony meter!!....very good!!.... very fast!.... Made in Japan!
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Kanggaru di Zoo Melaka
Seekor kanggaru di Zoo Melaka sentiasa keluar dari kawasan kurungannya. Menyedari hal itu, seorang pegawai menasihatkan seorang pekerja supaya membina pagar yang lebih tinggi. Menyedari bahawa kanggaru itu tidak dapat melompat tinggi, pekerja itu memasang pagar dengan ketinggian lima kaki.
Esoknya, pegawai itu menerima laporan bahawa kanggaru itu keluar dari kawasan kurungannya lagi. Pegawai itu mengarahkan pekerjanya memasang pagar yang lebih tinggi lagi. Begitulah yang berlaku setiap kali beliau mendapat laporan tentang kanggaru yang suka keluar dari kawasan kurungannya itu. Sehingga cerita ini ditulis, sudah 30 kaki tinggi pagar kurungan kanggaru itu.
Esoknya kanggaru itu terlepas lagi. Pada sebelah petangnya, selepas kanggaru itu dimasukkan kembali ke kawasan kurungannya, jiran sebelahnya iaitu seekor unta pun bertanya kepada kanggaru itu, "Agak-agak kau sehingga berapa tinggi mereka akan memasang pagar ini?".
Kanggaru itu menjawab, "Mungkin sehingga beratus kaki, kecuali seseorang mengunci pintu pagar pada malam ini dan malam-malam seterusnya". |
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Don't Worry Masih Banyak di My Country
Masa aku balik dari Singapore menaiki keretapi adalah tiga orang yang duduk bersama, dua didepan aku satu kat sebelah. Yang kat depan aku ni, orang American dan disebelahnya orang Cuba. Sebelah aku pulak orang Bangladesh. Dalam perjalanan tu kami pun berborak-boraklah pasal negara sendiri...borak punya borak, tiba-tiba si American ni pun keluarkan duit dollar dia lalu dibakarnya, dikeluarkannya sebatang rokok lalu dibakarnya rokok itu dengan duit tadi, lepas tu dibuangnya duit itu keluar. Terkejutlah semua melihat kelakuan Mat salleh tu tadi... bertanyalah si orang Cuba tadi "Why you do that for?". Dengan selamba mat salleh tu menjawab "Don't worry, I got a lot american dollar in my country".
Tercengganglah masing-masing. Belum habis tercenggang, si Cuba ni pun tiba-tiba mengeluarkan sebatang curut (curut Cuba adalah antara yang termahal didunia) lalu dinyalakannya. Belum sempat beberapa sedut, terus dia membuangnya keluar tingkap...
"Why you do that for" kata american tadi... "Don't worry, i got a lot cigar in my country".
Terkejutlah aku dibuatnya. Masa tu aku tengok Bangladesh tu tengah pikir apa nak dibuat pulak. Masa dia tengah fikir. Aku pun apa lagi... tangkap Bangla tu terus aku campak ke luar tingkap....belum sempat dia orang tanya lagi aku pun cakap lah...,
"DON'T WORRY, I GOT A LOT BANGLADESHIS IN MY COUNTRY" |
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It is no easy thing to find a friend along the way,
I mean the friend whose smile extends, beyond a single day...
Who has a word of cheerful praise,
for everything you do & when misfortune turns the tide,
is still a friend to you.
The kind of friend whose attitude is never dark or cold.
But who is always loyal & who has a heart of gold.
~ James J. Metcalfe
[ Last edited by holmes at 21-11-2007 10:54 AM ] |
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Incredible Indian
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?"
"Yeah," says the other cowboy.
"Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction."
Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon."
"Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what color they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!"
The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago." |
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salam ni aji..hi-5.. 
anu bah..jokes ani bahasa oyang putih only kah?
salah tampat tah luntur landing nih |
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Originally posted by luntur at 22-11-2007 08:11 PM 
salam ni aji..hi-5..
anu bah..jokes ani bahasa oyang putih only kah?
salah tampat tah luntur landing nih
Salam luntur!
Nda eh, nda semesti nya bahasa owang putih eh! apa bahasa pun boilh hehehe! asal saja org merati hehehe! Nah ani khas untuk luntur!
KONGSI
Sepasang orang tua datang ke restoran Mc Donald dengan saling berpegangan tangan. Mereka duduk disebuah bngku panjang berdua, disamping seorang anak
muda. Si datuk segera berdiri dan memesan makanan, sebuah hamburger, satu paket kentang goreng dan segelas minuman.
Setelah mendapat makanan datuk duduk di sebelah nenek, membahagi hamburger menjadi 2 bahagian, menghitung kentang goreng dengan cermat dan membagi
adil dengan si nenek, kemudian mengambil dua 'straw' minuman, menaruh gelas minuman tepat ditengah meja.
Si anak muda memperhatikan tingkah sepasang datuk-nenek itu dengan penuh minat. Si datuk kemudian mulai memakan bahagiannya, sementara si nenek hanya memperhatikan.
Si anak muda merasa kasihan, akhirnya merapati
pasangan tersebut dan berkata:
"Tok, boleh saya belikan makanan yang lain?" Si datuk menjawab : "tak payah terima kasih.kami memang selalu
berkongsi makanan yang sama" Sampai si datuk selesai makan, mengelap mulut dengan tissue, si nenek masih saja menunggu tanpa menyentuh makanan bahagiannya.
Si anak muda mendekat lagi, kali ini berkata : "Nek, boleh saya
belikan makanan yang lain, mungkin nenek tidak suka yang ini ?"Si Nenek menjawab;
Tidak terimakasih.." Terus si Anak muda bertanya lagi, "Kalau
begitu kenapa makanan nenek tidak dimakan, kan nenek dan datuk suka berkongsi?"
Kata si Nenek " Saya sedang menunggu gigi..........giliran saya
selepas datuk.....!
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Reply #616 luntur's post
nda kira lah lun... melayu ... inggeris... mun paham bisai  |
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Tijah's Love letter...
Hawk hom not sure this joke sudah ada kah inda..
tapi I can't help laughing over and over again reading this... dunno if it's true or not..
This is funny and worth reading  However, you need to know a bit of
malay and have terrible english to understand this. Worse comes to
worst, get someone to translate for you.
Beginilah kisahnya....
Tijah budak kampung, tapi bekerja di Kuala Lumpur .
Biasalah bila sudah duduk "town", mula lupa asal usul. Pakaian seksi
maut, bercinta pula dgn lelaki mat saleh. Ke hulu ke hilir menayang
boyfriendnya yg bermata biru.
Punyalah eksyen si Tijah, hinggalah suatu hari dia ternampak lelaki
Inggeris tadi dgn wanita lain yg lebih cantik dan bergaya daripadanya.
Tijah menangis tiga hari tiga malam. Pada malam ke empat, Tijah
mengambil sehelai kertas dan menulis surat untuk memutuskan
perhubungannya dgn lelaki mat saleh tadi yg baru sebulan dikenalinya.
Begini bunyi surat yg ditulis oleh Tijah binti Kulup Kecil, yg berjaya
"dicuri" ...
************ ********* ********* **** *********
Mike....
I WANT TO CUT CONNECTION US.
I have think about this very cook-cook. I know I clap one hand only.
Correctly, I have seen you and she walk-walk together at town with
eyes myself. You grab hand she.
You always ask for apology back-back. I don't trust you again! You are
really crocodile land.
My friend speak you play wood three. First-first I think my friend lie
me. But now I know you correct-correct play wood three.
So, I break connection to pull my body from this love triangle. I know
this result I pick is very correct, because you love she very high from me.
So, I cut this connection to go far from here. I don't want you to
play-play with my liver.
I have been crying until no more eye water thinking about you. I don't
want banana to fruit two times.
Safe walk..
Tijah |
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Reply #619 holmes's post
sudah ada...  |
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Category: Negeri & Negara
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Post time 15-11-2007 12:01 PM
Author
