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Originally posted by BingkaUbi at 16-4-2009 13:24 
dah berapa lama pakcik menduda?
lelaki biler tiba2 takde bini nak tolong jaga anak automatik sedar psl hidup ni..........time ader bini byk ms dok pass kat bini bg settle....bini pun ...
lepas kawin, pakcik laa masak, pakcik buat smer.. pakcik ni cerewet... bangsa tak puas hati ngan kerja org... jenis teliti bab susun2 ni.. so pakcik ngan rela.. manjakan x... smer sampai ke lutut... baju dia pun pakcik iron... tak laa rasa beban.. mungkin dah biasa... mak pak pakcik dah training .. anak2 jantan pun kena basuh pinggan...
dah 6 thn...pernah hampir2 jatuh cinta... gegar gak laa sumpah nak single sampai mati... seb bek awek tu pun menunjukkan 'hidayah' sebelum kami decide apa2... jadi selamat laa dunia single pakcik sampai skang kikikiki |
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Originally posted by BingkaUbi at 16-4-2009 13:24 
dah berapa lama pakcik menduda?
lelaki biler tiba2 takde bini nak tolong jaga anak automatik sedar psl hidup ni..........time ader bini byk ms dok pass kat bini bg settle....bini pun ...
mungkin memang hang dah menduda so hang boleh buat semua seperti jaga anak sampai tak tidur semua tuh
tapi sesetengah lelaki termasuk lelaki saya secara honestly nyer sangat manja
even though dalam menggosok baju pun minta isteri tolong gosokkan baju masa bujang boleh buat sendiri alasannya
sudah ada isteri  |
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Originally posted by pak_itam at 16-4-2009 13:28 
sah tanda kat calendar .. tak pun save note lam HP..
aku rasa yg laki tu tak normal...  |
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Originally posted by aiva at 16-4-2009 13:33
mungkin memang hang dah menduda so hang boleh buat semua seperti jaga anak sampai tak tidur semua tuh
tapi sesetengah lelaki termasuk lelaki saya secara honestly nyer sangat manja
even tho ...
sepanjang 8 thn ada isteri.. belum pernah dia masak utk pakcik.. tapi pakcik tak pernah komplen.. hati dah sayang, hati dah cinta... kelemahan dia suatu keistimewaan pada pakcik yg pakcik rasa tak ada pada org lain..SEBENARNYA... manusia memang berubah.. tidak pernah tetap.. itulah hakikatnya... kekurangan atau kelebihan akan sesuatu cuma alasan semata2 |
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Originally posted by pak_itam at 16-4-2009 13:32 
lepas kawin, pakcik laa masak, pakcik buat smer.. pakcik ni cerewet... bangsa tak puas hati ngan kerja org... jenis teliti bab susun2 ni.. so pakcik ngan rela.. manjakan x... smer sampai ke ...
kalu baca citer saya sadis la skit kottt.....citer lama 5 thn dulukkk...punn tak serik saya kawin lagikkk... |
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Originally posted by aiva at 16-4-2009 13:28 
saya dapat statement ni pun sebab ada kes macam ni
isteri layan anak acuh tak acuh sebab suami macam perogol jer tiada belaian dan foreplay terus jek buat
kalau tiada kena mengena dengan t ...
betul ke gini??? |
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Originally posted by ParinAmat at 16-4-2009 13:36
aku rasa yg laki tu tak normal...
pakcik pun rasa macam tu... pakcik kalu kenal ngan perempuan... set set citer bekas hubby, bf nyer so an so.. memang aku kais ketepi.. mintang simpang... esok2 kisah aku pun dia jual kat org |
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Originally posted by BingkaUbi at 16-4-2009 13:37
kalu baca citer saya sadis la skit kottt.....citer lama 5 thn dulukkk...punn tak serik saya kawin lagikkk...
aku tak tahu cita aku sedih ker tak.. sebab kalau nak diperincikan kisah aku... nanti jadi mengaibkan x, mungkin ada pembaca yg akan kata aku self promo... tapi apa yg berlaku mampu buat aku menangis berbulan2.. |
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Balas #141 pak_itam\ catat
Pakcik nak single sampai mati?
Saya ada sorang pakcik juga, isteri dia meninggal sebab kenser.
13 tahun dia jadi bapa tunggal, jaga anak2 5 orang singlehandedly!
Tapi baru2 ni terjatuh hati dengan sorang gadis 30an, dah nikah pon.
Masa isteri dia meninggal pon dia cakap memang tanak kawen, sebab tak de sapa boleh ganti mak anak2 dia.
Tapi dah jodoh agaknya...entah camana hati dia boleh terbukak nak nikah lain.
Anak2 pon dah besar, dah ada famili sendiri, yang kecik dah nak grad u pon.
Tapi memang jaranglah dengar bapa tunggal menduda bertahun2 gitu kan? |
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syok pulak baca kisah idop laki2 nih. |
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Originally posted by seri_air at 16-4-2009 13:42
Pakcik nak single sampai mati?
Saya ada sorang pakcik juga, isteri dia meninggal sebab kenser.
13 tahun dia jadi bapa tunggal, jaga anak2 5 orang singlehandedly!
Tapi baru2 ni terjatuh h ...
dah 6 tahun single.. dah makin rasa selesa... bukan pakcik anti perempuan.. cuma pakcik pk.. mungkin sebab pakcik tak pandai jaga bini... nanti lari lagi.. kecewa lagi.. kikikikiki |
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Originally posted by pak_itam at 16-4-2009 13:40
aku tak tahu cita aku sedih ker tak.. sebab kalau nak diperincikan kisah aku... nanti jadi mengaibkan x, mungkin ada pembaca yg akan kata aku self promo... tapi apa yg berlaku mampu buat aku ...
hisshhhhh...jgn citer psl nangis2 ni...hukum dosa bg setengah org kalu laki nangis...
msg2 ader sejarah memsg.........dan sejarah tuhh gak lerr yg buat manusia berubah...dr tak brp baik ke baik or sebaliknya...kalu ke arah baik alhamdulillah, kalu ke arah tak baik....tak reti la nak kata pe...sumer pilihan memsg...papepun, pakcik, asal pakcik happy, anak2 happy ngan idup skrg dah ok la tuhhhh....... |
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Originally posted by BingkaUbi at 16-4-2009 13:24
dah berapa lama pakcik menduda?
lelaki biler tiba2 takde bini nak tolong jaga anak automatik sedar psl hidup ni..........time ader bini byk ms dok pass kat bini bg settle....bini pun ...
aku nak tanya kau, apa sebenar tanggungjawab isteri? melahirkan anak saja ke? lepas dilahirkan maka lelaki la yg perlu pikul segala tanggungjawab di dalam dan di luar rumahtangga? apakah begitu yg diajarkan dlm agama kita? Nabi SAW memang pernah diriwayatkan ada menolong isteri Baginda di dapur tapi apakah itu bermaksud tanggungjawab dalam rumah tu tugas primer/hakiki seorang suami, atau sebenarnya nak tunjuk suami digalakkan ringan2 tulang bila berkelapangan? Apakah peranan/sumbangan suami bersusah payah cari rezeki di luar itu terlalu kecik nilaiannya? Apakah peranan suami memberikan keselamatan dan keselesaan kepada anak isteri itu terlalu kerdil nilainya?
Isteri bekerja, penat. Ye, aku insaf, aku faham. Maka aku gajikan maid untuk membantu. Tenaga maid tapi duit aku hasil penat lelah cari duit. Pergi la kerja walau aku tak perlu pun duit isteri. Aku mampu dgn kerja aku sekarang. Aku tanya, pernahkah isteri melihat keizinan yg diberi oleh suami untuk pergi bekerja itu sebagai satu nikmat kebebasan yg diberi oleh suami? Pegi kerja dapat berkawan, dapat bersosial, tak boring duduk di rumah, dapat update dgn perkembangan semasa. Cuba tengok isteri-isteri lain yg tak diizinkan suami utk bekerja, terperuk di rumah. Bosan. Malangnya,isteri yg bekerja take for granted semua itu. Bekerja tu pulak dijadikan alasan untuk tidak main peranan yg sepatutnya dlm menguruskan anak-anak.
Masalah yg berlaku adalah.. dlm perkahwinan ni ada pihak yg sudah lupa mana satu tanggungjawab primer, mana tanggungjawab sekunder. Tuhan ciptakan lelaki dan wanita ni berbeza, ada tujuannya. Lelaki dgn kudratnya. Wanita dgn sifat rahimnya. Ini sunnah yg ditentukan. Tapi hari ni manusia yg terlebih pandai, terlebih liberal. Moden kononnya. Org2 tua kita dulu yg tak moden tu jugak lah yg bahagia rumahtangga sampai ke hujung hayat sebab dorang follow je sunnah tu.
Wallahu a'lam. |
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Originally posted by pak_itam at 16-4-2009 13:37
sepanjang 8 thn ada isteri.. belum pernah dia masak utk pakcik.. tapi pakcik tak pernah komplen.. hati dah sayang, hati dah cinta... kelemahan dia suatu keistimewaan pada pakcik yg pakcik ras ...
saya rasakan pakcik menerima perkara isteri tak masak selama 8 tahun itu secara positif dan diterima di akal fikiran pakcik
tapi jika orang lain mungkin mereka menerimanya sebagai sesuatu yang negatif dan tidak diterima akal
lain orang lain persepsinya pakcik so sikap keterbukaan pakcik dalam hal ini saya sungguh tabik spring |
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Originally posted by aiva at 16-4-2009 13:33
mungkin memang hang dah menduda so hang boleh buat semua seperti jaga anak sampai tak tidur semua tuh
tapi sesetengah lelaki termasuk lelaki saya secara honestly nyer sangat manja
even tho ...
mmg betul setelah duda..dia jd pandai nak handle house work.. end later in the end baru faham... tp biasa lah laki nature depa nie pun mcm gak perempuan nak gak bermanja... bila kahwin balik... nak ler the wife..buat all those things.. cumer yg senang nya.. nnt bila wife.. full hand.. dia leh take over sekejap... |
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Originally posted by pak_itam at 16-4-2009 13:39
pakcik pun rasa macam tu... pakcik kalu kenal ngan perempuan... set set citer bekas hubby, bf nyer so an so.. memang aku kais ketepi.. mintang simpang... esok2 kisah aku pun dia jual kat org
ko pangkah org mcm ni siap2 pokcik, layan citer dorang bleh la..jgn ko ter cerita plak hal ko nanti dibukukan br tau... |
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Originally posted by kelkatuu at 16-4-2009 13:47
aku nak tanya kau, apa sebenar tanggungjawab isteri? melahirkan anak saja ke? lepas dilahirkan maka lelaki la yg perlu pikul segala tanggungjawab di dalam dan di luar rumahtangga? apakah begi ...
.
ntahhh....ko carik ler info sendri...aku takmo citer panjang2 psl tanggungjawab somi isteri ni....berlambak2 dah citer psl ni dr duluk2....cari la thread lama2 dulukkk.....
aku rasa mentaliti ko pun silap gakkk......sapa kata isteri yg dok umah sbb somi tak bg keje tuhh akan terperuk kat umah jekk??? isteri ko ka tuhh? isteri aku tak keje gak tp aku tak plak jerukkan dia kat umah.....aku suh dia keluar, pi cari kawan2, pi amik bg buat kerja2 sukarela ni........selain dr jadik manager kat umah uruskan bibiks.......
lain org lain cara.......ko blh tegur org tang kelakuan dia tp ko tak blh nak paksa org suruh ubah perangai ikut selera ko.....ko blh didik org tp jangan harap ko dpt result terbaik sekelip mata....dlm idup rumahtangga ni ada perkataan SABAR, REDHA, TOLAK ANSUR.........ko sabar ler didik isteri tuh, ko redha dengan kelemahan dia, ko bertolak ansur la tuk kebaikan bersama.........jgn harap sumer manusia sempurna sedangkan ko sendiri tak sempurna........
setakat bangun malam buat susu anak, jaga anak sakit, mandikan anak2 sumer tuhhh.......benda ni short term...biler anak membesar, ko tak yah lagik nak bangun malam buat susu, tak yah nak mandi siapkan dorang pi sekolah.......tang sakit tuhh kerap sgt ka anak ko sakit??? kalau ya, beri perhatian kat anak yg sokmo sakit tuhh...kalu wife ko takmo amik bahagian, ko buat jekkk....ikhlas la tak yah merungut.....lelama makin membesar anak2 dorang tau nak menilai sapa yg lagik mereka sayang....sapa lagik yg mereka hargai....ko ka mak dorang.....anak2 makin membesar, makin bijak, makin tau menilai baik buruk kurang lebihh......so, ms dorang kecik ni ko berbakti la pd kuarga.....demi anak2.......
ok ka ? kalu tak suka, buat la apapun yg ko suker....... |
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Me cut & paste. Banyak source, kalu rajin pegi google. :victory:
A Wife's Basic Rights Regarding Her Husband's Behavior
NOTE: This is distinct from her other rights regarding living expenditures, housing, clothing, and education of children. And from Allah comes all success.
1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"
2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat al-khaliq).
3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.
4. If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do so and vice-versa. The Prophet (s) prayed for such people: "May Allah grant mercy to a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."
5. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.
6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children" (allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.
7. He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.
8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that pertain to her.
9. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best gift or charity (sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.
10. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.
11. He must avoid excessive jealousy and remember that Allah is also jealous that he himself not commit. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at her on your account" (la tukthir al-gheerata `ala ahlika fa turama bi al-su'i min ajlik) and he said: "Allah is jealous and the believer is jealous; and Allah's jealousy is that the believer should not go to that which Allah has forbidden for him" (inna Allaha yagharu wa al- mu'minu yagharu wa gheerat Allahi in ya'tiya al-mu'minu ma harrama `alayhi).
12. He must protect her honor and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled. The Prophet (s) said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbors, and complete strangers.
13. He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet (s) said: "Of permitted matters the most loathesome before Allah is divorce" (abgh`ad al-halal `ind Allah al-talaq). In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made to shake. He said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings back together the husband and the wife." Womanizing -- divorce for the purpose of marrying another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith: "Allah's curse is on the womanizing, divorcing man" (la`ana Allahu kulla dhawwaaqin mutallaaq). Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the man: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness" (2:228).
For the above-mentioned reason (i.e. to prevent the quickness of divorce), in his time, Ibn Taymiyya gave the ijtihad (juridical opinion) by saying that three talaqs in one sitting constituted only one. He did this to interdict the prevalent custom of suddenly giving three talaqs, which in his time was on everyone's lips, (i.e. had become so commonplace as to be a habit). However the other four schools of fiqh had the opposite opinion in this matter.
14. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.
15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
16. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not beat your wife." He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the face." The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet (s) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfillment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.
Conclusion
These are only some of the basic duties of the husband in Islam. The state of marriage is part of one's adherence to the Sunna and an exalted state of life indeed. In the words of the Prophet (s), it permits one to meet Allah "pure and cleansed" (tahiran mutahharan). One's behavior towards one's wife is the measure of the perfection of one's belief as the Prophet (s) said: "The most complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in manners are those who act best towards their wives." Marriage must be approached with utmost seriousness, entered with the purest intent, and cultivated religiously as it does not come cheaply and it carries immense reward. The Prophet (s) called it "his way" (al-nikahu sunnati) and "half of religion" and he also said: "Two rak`at (prayer-cycles) of the married person are better than seventy rak`at of the unmarried." He also warned that among the greatest of responsibilities that had been placed upon men is that pertaining to the treatment of their wives. |
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Post time 16-4-2009 01:32 PM
Author
