RESPECT.....

hamizao

Respect, Self-respect , Mutual Respect................

Would like to invite thinkers to have a crack at them. Perhaps the following questions can help to initiate:

What is respect?
Do we need it in life , where/how  do we get and  can we lose it?

[ Last edited by  hamizao at 12-4-2008 12:59 PM ]

my-alja

respect is dependent
self-respect is independent
mutual respect is interdependent

sesapa yg pernah baca buku 7 habits, rasanya mudah nak faham...

LostSoul

people said: respect is earned, not given..

without respect, our dignity is shaken.

mbhcsf

i tend to associate respect with credibility, well if  u looked up a person then surely enough you would respect her views, opinions, thoughts. U would highly regard that person by the mannerism...all the bestest qualities , or by his credentials like Dr M...

lose it>
yes sure by being very very undecorous, breaching his / her own principles...lacking self integrity

depends on the context as well -

do we need it?
depends - if it is four ourselves then i might want to call it ego good for your ego but value system wil knock on you door
by at the end of the day , we need to prostarte to the Supreme Being

[ Last edited by  mbhcsf at 12-3-2008 01:58 AM ]

ajinomotonosuga

respect is awareness

self respect is inner knowledge

mutual respect is knowledge of others existence



give due to respect meant stand off..no more no less..justice, perfection, tranquil

it begins with instinct from inner sectum and ideas or hunch from outside

we rarely listening to innerself, due to SOCIAL interaction so we tend to less respective of our own self i.e. self abuse due to alcoholism or  gambling because the trap of 'entertainment'

physically speaking, human has what so called 'immune system' of which is 'automatically' fixing the body so i believe spiritually human being has what i called 'respect system', u wont listen to urself so suffer the consequences i.e. extremism in some actions

mbhcsf

so respect has self monitoring mechanism ker Sdr Aji?

hamizao

tend to associate respect with credibility, well if  u looked up a person then surely enough you would respect her views, opinions, thoughts. U would highly regard that person by the mannerism...all the bestest qualities , or by his credentials like Dr M...

Yes, we value their thoughts  as we hold them  knowledgeable. Do we then need ti be judgemental before we give respect to them?  

We may also be said to respect others when we take into consideration their feelings, needs and wishes.................so they need not always  be knowledgeable kan? Like we still respect our parents not necessarily  because they are smart  ......but because they are old and our culture teaches us to respect the elderly. Why does this happen then?

[ Last edited by  hamizao at 13-3-2008 12:01 AM ]

mbhcsf

why? it because of the value system, well hmm, i would say i respect my parents as they are intelligent enough to handle me...ehehe...hehboleh tak? well they don't have to be that smart to earn my respect. Again  respect to  parents is also  considered a duty or in fact an obligation.

well the thing is , when i say i respect the person, their opinions, thoughts, attitudes, expectations matter.

lastly respect should be earn NOT asked.

hamizao

It sounds like you need to be that intelligent to "earn" the respect of others. Wouldn't that be a bit narrowing down of the scope? How about the respect "received" as it is the duty of others to give? How would you explain that, mbhcsf?

Hmmm...I thinklah respect ni has two perspectives...........the giver and the receiver.
To the giver, it is of good manners. It does not matter whether the other person holds a high office or qualiification or achievement. It is also given to ppl you do not know, right?

To the receiver......it should always be earned meaning, you should do something right like show respect/regard for others before others  can come back to respect you.

[ Last edited by  hamizao at 14-3-2008 11:47 AM ]

hamizao

As usual, Aji ....

give due to respect meant stand off..no more no less

An interesting way to look at it. True, ppl usually say "Due to respect for you I won't............" This has the effect that you would not perhaps pick on  the person in public  especially as that would cause him much distress . My thinking is, there ought to be a time and place for everything such that "things" can still be made right in a decorous manner.

we rarely listening to innerself, due to SOCIAL interaction so we tend to less respective of our own self i.e. self abuse due to alcoholism or  gambling because the trap of 'entertainment'

Very true, Aji. Self abuse is the result of lack of self-esteem and self-respect. If you do not respect yourself how would earn the respect of others?

physically speaking, human has what so called 'immune system' of which is 'automatically' fixing the body so i believe spiritually human being has what i called 'respect system', u wont listen to urself so suffer the consequences i.e. extremism in some actions

Perhaps it's the human trait to self-preserve, ya. When someone gets to you, you ought to react positively to preserve your well being or self-esteem......respectability rather than self destruct.

leogal_1428

If we can not respect another
How can we expect them to respect us
If we can not respect someone抯 beliefs
How can we expect them to respect ours
If we can not respect another抯 race
How can we expect that race to respect us
If we can not respect others
How can we expect respect in return

Everyone expects respect
No matter who they are
The only way to gain it
Is to start treating everyone
As a friend, a brother, a sister
As part of our extended family
No matter what colour or creed they are
Only then you will start to get
The respect you so dearly crave

dutchy

Originally posted by hamizao at 8-3-2008 01:19 PM
Respest, Self-respect , Mutual Respest................

Would like to invite thinkers to have a crack at them. Perhaps the following questions can help to initiate:

What is respect?
Do we n ...

Respect is something that in our culture is taught to look upon highly of the views and norms as per handed down to us by our elder

self respect - the need for us to believe in what we stand for, and what we mirrored to others

mutual respect - something that is needed in order for us to live cohesively in a muti cultural country such as Malaysia, but is so lacking these days

Agul

Could you approve of yourself?

Could you just give approval to yourself? Just for the heck of it?
Would you?
When?

hamizao

It reminds me of the saying " Have faith in yourself." It's self validation in a sense. If you take down your own score and realise that you haven't met the "standard" you'd strive to improve. If you'd done something terrible, you'd have to "forgive yourself" and move on. Now, forgiving yourself may not always be an easy thing to do but the whole ida is, as I think is to recover your self-respect. When you feel good about yourself, positivity radiates out of you!

Agul, any personal take on self forgiving?

Agul

Forgiving oneself is one of the hardest thing to do.

People will keep punishing themselves, even after a very long time. Most don't forgive themseles even until death. In our society, guilt, shame and remorse are look upon as something holy, something sacred and noble.

However most fail to realize that punishing oneself, sabotging oneself do no earthly good whatsoever to anyone. It benefit no one. Other people don't get any benefit from our self-sabotage.  It doesn't make us a nicer or better person. That's just an illusion.  The only person who's hurt... ourselves.

Other people may have forgiven us, however usually we always have a problem  forgiving our own self.

Someone who can totally forgie himself will be liberated. He will be free.

How to do it?

From the way most of us grow up it's not any wonder that we have lost this skill.
So, we must do personal work. People go through diferent route, different practise.

The problem is sometime this thing get hidden deep inside us subconciously. We may think that we have forgiven ourselves, on the surface, however the debris may be lodge deeper than we realize.

Some choose meditation, prayer, eft, group theraphy... anything. What I found most effective is the yellow book. At least for me that's the way it is.

Agul

http://www.sedona.com/lp-day80_fs.aspx

hamizao

Why is it so difficult, Agul? What does it takes one to forgive oneself and it's process? Should you not feel it first i.e. acknowledge that an injustice or wrong has been done? I was watching a program yesterday and it was said that one would not be able to tell the difference in one's acts if one does not have conscience. So I guess if one does not acknowledge it there is really no issue of forgiving.

On the other hand, if one does acknowledge the wrong, why then would one need to blanket oneself in total remorse  and thereby keep on punishing oneself? Would there be satisfaction in this or just a total loss of sellf-esteem.....or just a way to numb oneself from the feeling of guilt.........or just attention seeking?

Agul

Originally posted by hamizao at 20-3-2008 02:58 PM
Why is it so difficult, Agul? What does it takes one to forgive oneself and it's process? Should you not feel it first i.e. acknowledge that an injustice or wrong has been done? I was watching a program yesterday and it was said that one would not be able to tell the difference in one's acts if one does not have conscience. So I guess if one does not acknowledge it there is really no issue of forgiving.

On the other hand, if one does acknowledge the wrong, why then would one need to blanket oneself in total remorse  and thereby keep on punishing oneself? Would there be satisfaction in this or just a total loss of sellf-esteem.....or just a way to numb oneself from the feeling of guilt.........or just attention seeking?

Hami,

The reason it is so difficult (not really difficult actually, but we are trained to hold on to the past, to clutch and keep everything like a pack rat) would be concious and the subconcious. We might think that we've let go of the thing. However it may not be true.

Most people keep beating themselves up, all the while not even knowing what they are doing. Keep beating the horse, eventhough it's already dead.

Conscience.. indoctrinated,or爊atural爌redispostion?

ajinomotonosuga

respect needs conscience

conscience needs knowledge

knowledge needs heat and heat is produced during an activity

and that activity is called thinking

courtney_xo

respest - think bout others