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salam
bagaimana jika peranan mak, telah bertukar jadi ayah dlm sesebuah keluarga...
mungkin sebab keluarga tu dah kehilangan ayah....atau "hilang" ayah disebabkan penceraian
apakah kesan2 emosi pd diri anak2 dan keluarga secara keseluruhan....dan adakah ia membawa
kesan pd masyarakat secara sedar atau tidak...
bagaimana kesan pd anak2 yg nampak ibu dia yg jadi ayah dirumah....
ayahnya cuma wujud secara visual tapi takde peranan....
i dah lihat satu dua contoh didepan mata, peranan ayah diambil oleh mak...
w/pun tidak pincang keseluruhan fungsi keluarga tu tapi ada kekurangan...
perlukan figure AYAH dlm keluarga tu tetap dijaga w/pun ketiadaan mereka?
bagaimana dan apa solusi pd mereka yg bercerai mati ataupun bercerai hidup... |
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I paste dlm web psikologi pasal father figure, important?
How important is a father figure? For as long as I lived in this world my father has never been there me nor my siblings. Of course if it was an emergency then he's there but otherwise he ignores us, his children, like they don't even exist.
All my life he's never tried to get to know his own children nor were there ever any kind or motivating words or advice that came out of him. I honestly feel thats it's becuase of this that I'm filled with low self-esteem, confidence
and motivation. I can honestly say that when I need advice he's never the person that comes to mind.
On the other hand others say that its wrong to blame my father and that I control my own future. But sometimes I wonder how I could've turn out of my father had been there for me and my siblings feeding us with his advice, support and motivation. Don't get me wrong, he was always there physically, but his support and role as a father was severely lacking.
What does my parents say when this issue is brought up? They laugh and say that he keeps the lights on and provides food on the table. Thats true, but I don't believe being a father ends there. They just don't understand.
by spartanic |
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“Our detailed 20-year review shows that overall, children reap positive benefits if they have active and regular engagement with a father figure” says Dr Anna Sarkadi from the Department of Women’s and Children’s Health at Uppsala University, Sweden.
“For example, we found various studies that showed that children who had positively involved father figures were less likely to smoke and get into trouble with the police, achieved better levels of education and developed good friendships with children of both sexes.
“Long-term benefits included women who had better relationships with partners and a greater sense of mental and physical well-being at the age of 33 if they had a good relationship with their father at 16.”
http://psychcentral.com/news/200 ... elps-kids/1903.html |
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All my life he's never tried to get to know his own children nor were there ever any kind or motivating words or advice that came out of him. I honestly feel thats it's becuase of this that I'm filled with low self-esteem, confidence
and motivation. I can honestly say that when I need advice he's never the person that comes to mind.
Semuanya terpulang kepada individu tu sendiri mengendalikan...Kalau anak jenis manja tu biasa la akan terasa kehilangan...Rasa tak di peduli..Rasa macam nak kongsi cerita pun takda sesiapa...Tgk pada keadaan...Aku menbesar tanpa mak bapak disisi..dedua tarak...Apa keputusan aku yg buat...Besar elok je..Jadi org berguna lagi...cukup serba serbi..Dibandingkan kwn2 aku yg ada mak bapak..cukup kasih sayang..Tak kemana pun..Malah Aku belajar macamana nak berdikari....yg mana kita takkan belajar kalau kita dapat sepenuh k.sayang daripada ibubapa... |
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pompuan lebih thn hidup dari laki sbnanye....if seorg pompuan dpt jadi ayah n mak aku btol2 salute....lgpon aku sure kasih syg mak pd anak mengatasi sgalanya...mostly pompuan ni tabah dlm membesarkn ank2 wo husbnd di sisi |
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sejak bapak berbini muda, aku lah yg mengambil alih tanggungjwb sossial dlm rumah ni...  |
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org2 kata dlm sebuah keluarga biar takde bapak..jgn takde mak..huru hara... |
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Emak x boleh jadi ayah sepenuhnya.....kalo mak jadi ayah, byk le kekurangannya....
perlukan figure AYAH dlm keluarga tu tetap dijaga w/pun ketiadaan mereka? ---> Perlu
bagaimana dan apa solusi pd mereka yg bercerai mati ataupun bercerai hidup...---> tak tau heheheh |
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org2 kata dlm sebuah keluarga biar takde bapak..jgn takde mak..huru hara...
pu3_krizalid Post at 7-7-2009 09:47 
rasanya dalam era facebook hari ini...terbalik pu3....biar omak mati dulu jangan ayah....sebabnya? ibu zaman ini...songeh banyak sangat.....anak baru satu dua..kecik kecik lagi riuh macam anak sepuluh.......sibuk bebenor nak terapkan nilai2 filosophical dalam diri anak......
lagipun...sebab ibu ibu hari ini semangat berkobar kobar nak tunjukkan pada masyarakat sekeliling mereka boleh didik anak tanpa suami disisi...lambat bebenor nak buat keputusan untuk kasi anak2 daddy baru......tapi kalau bapak bapak harinih........hari nih isteri takdok......esok apply baru.....almakklumlah...takmo anak anak be deprived of motherly figure......ekekekekeke.... |
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aku hilang ayah ms form 1.... ms tuh adik aku jah 2...emosi kat adik aku teruk gak la...terbiar gtuh...hilang ayah bg aku hilang tempat bergantung dr segi kewangan.... tp Alhamdulillah walau aku serba kekurangan aku ttp jaga nilai2 sbg seorg anak walau dugaan dtg dr pelbagai bentuk...Aku bersyukur apa yg aku ada ari nih...
bila kenang kesah2 remaja aku yg sadis...aku rs bertuah kerana aku dilindungi Allah dr buat perkara2 yg memberi aib pd pamili...walau tanpa kasih seorg ayah aku berjaya berkat hasil didikan mak dan abah aku... |
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a mother can never be a father to a child. A mother is always a mother. when one of the parent is taken a way from the child's life as Allah intended by way of death or divorce or abandon. The child has his on path to live.
As a sole parent to the child one could only do her/his best. one cannot claim to be both or the other.
my 2 cents... |
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bukan emak jd ayah
tp emak jd emak
& emak jd ayah
bukan satu perkara yg mudah
ada emak, ade ayah, ade anak2...baru layak digelar sebuah kuarga. sepjg idop sendirian, ade sesetgh perkara yg aku rase aku mampu manage sendiri & ada pulak sebaliknya. dan bila aku rase sesuatu tahap keupayaan aku sudah smpai ke tahap paling maksima, hanya doa yg mampu aku panjatkan agar Allah beri aku kekuatan utk terus memelihara amanahNya. dan juga mohon pertolongan dariNya agar melindungi anakku dr segala bencana.
even ade atok abah..pak ngah or whatever...takkan sama dgn perhatian seorg ayah. teori yg dibekalkan takkan sama dgn secebis pengalaman sebagai pengajaran. bg diri aku yg byk kelemahan & kekurangan, peranan seseorg sbgai ayah pd anak aku ku rasakan perlu.utk mengajar anak aku bgaimana utk menjadi seorg lelaki sejati.
solusi??? |
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Post Last Edit by dewi at 7-7-2009 13:41
Post Last Edit by dewi at 7-7-2009 12:53
dewi ibu tunggal .. sejak anak2 dewi kecik lagi .. sekarang dah remaja dah kedua2 nyer dewi masih lagi ibu tunggal... dewi lah emak dewi jugalah ayah.
mencabar ker? maybe lah dari segi kewangan sebab 1 sumber jer tapi kalau nak diberi pilihan biarlah begini sahaja daripada ber"ayah" tapi tak guna sesen n memberi impak yg negative pada anak2.
so yes mmg elok kalau ada ayah , tapi kalau ada ayah yg tak berapa nak elok ... dgn tak de ayah. baik la tak der langsung. 
did they miss not having a father? tak lah pulak nampak kesannya till today.
Let me share a letter that anak dewi tulis untuk dewi masa Hari Ibu baru2 ni.
To my beloved mother,
I want to wish tou happy mother's day. I would like to apologize if I hurt your feelings before. I also want to thank you for taking care of me and adik. Even though we might not have any father but we have no regret to not having one because you have filled the emptiness with your love. And your hardwork are mostly appreciated by us.
For us there is no other parent better than you, Thank You MAMA. And we love you so much.
You are my earth
You are my sky
You are my parent
You are everything that matter most
in the whole world
I love you, MAMA |
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sayu jerk baca ucapan anak dewi tuh |
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Post Last Edit by dewi at 7-7-2009 12:53
dewi ibu tunggal .. sejak anak2 dewi kecik lagi .. sekarang dah remaja dah kedua2 nyer dewi masih lagi ibu tunggal... dewi lah emak dewi jugalah ayah.
m ...
dewi Post at 7-7-2009 12:51
Dewi...... ini kira a case of....."ada suami pun cam tak bersuami...lebih baik aku tak berlaki!!!!"......he he he
On a more positive note boleh kiranya Manak bertanya why Dewi masih belum mahu berkahwin semula? Is it a question of your choice atau belum ada jodoh lagi????? Jika kerana pilihan Dewi sendiri untuk tidak berlaki lagi kenapa? Come lets share your plight ngan kita kat sini........ |
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lahaiiii dewi so swetttt....
anak dewi dah biasa ngan keadaan dewi jd pelengkap idup dorang....
tanpa ayah jiwa dorang masih terisi ngan kasih dan sayang dewi...
bukan senang tp bi ...
mammavoque Post at 7-7-2009 13:31
Why must the kids be deprived of a fatherly figure sedangkan ibu mereka masih mampu untuk berkahwin lain????? |
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14# mammavoque
yer lah mammavouque,
kalau dari awal kita cakap direct kat anak2 and tak undermine dia nyer intelligent maybe ( i was hoping also lah ) they will understand .
so apa yg dewi buat is just tell them as it is... and teach them to accept keadaan n make the most of it. |
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makayah masih bersama
tapi dalam kebanyakan hal mak yg uruskan
dari financial&urusan anak2,rumahtangga..
tak taulah apa2 pun mak..mak..mak
kesannya: nak kawin pun mcm takut2
takut dapat suami yg x boleh dilabelkan sbg suami..
semua atas bahu isteri..
dan bila dapat suami walaupun bukanlah 100% sempurna rasa bersyukur sgt
sekurang2nya tak lalui mcm mak lalui |
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16# manakautau
tau tak per manak....
bukan dewi tak nak kawin lagi tpi kalau nak kawin pun pastinye dewi nak org yg boleh terima dewi n anak2 juga. n the guy juga mesti paham my comittment dgn anak2. just how many single ( bukan suami org) yg boleh terima semua tu?
kalau takat kutu brahak yg idup nyer nak menyusahkan dewi jer lagi .. baik aku tak payah kawin la manak ooiii |
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Post time 6-7-2009 06:46 PM
变色卡
Author
