Selamat mencari, memilih, menerima, memberi, menjaga hati untuk semua yang sedang mencari bakal suami / isteri.
"Dengarkanlah kabar bahagia ini ; wahai wanita-wanita yang hingga usia tiga puluh, empat puluh, atau lebih dari itu, tapi belum juga menikah, mungkin karena keterbatasan fisik, kesempatan atau tidak pernah 'terpilih' di dunia yang amat keterlaluan mencintai materi dan tampilan wajah.
Yakinlah, wanita-wanita salehah yang sendiri, namun tetap mengisi hidupnya dengan indah, berbagi, berbuat baik, dan bersyukur. kelak di hari akhir sungguh akan menjadi bidadari-bidadari surga. Dan kabar baik itu pastilah benar, bidadari surga parasnya cantik luar biasa."
Contrary to common beliefs you can get over any person in few weeks if you applied the right advice. I know you are now wondering how can that happen or even thinking that its impossible but the reason you are wondering is that the media has programmed you to believe that breakups let people suffer for extended periods while in fact reality is completely different.
As a result of the tens of romantic movies that you saw, the hundreds of the romantic songs that you listened to and the thousands of words you heard from uneducated people you started to believe that getting over someone is very hard if not impossible.
Why do we fail to forget someone quickly Before you can learn how to get over someone quickly you must first understand the reasons that prevent you from forgetting that person. One or more of the following reasons is usually the cause behind not being able to get over someone:
•The relationship was a method of compensation: Without being aware, lots of people go for relationships because they feel lonely, lack confidence or need emotional support. Had those people learned how to deal with loneliness, how to build their confidence and become emotionally stronger they wouldn’t have fell in love with someone just to fill an emotional Gap but they would have chosen someone whom they really loved
•Thinking that he was the one: I have explained numerous times that we fall in love with those who match most of our subconscious criteria. This simply means that finding someone who matches 50 conditions out of the 70 we have doesn’t mean that we can’t find someone who matches 55. There are hundreds of potential partners awaiting us out there but the media has programmed our minds to believe that only one suits us
•Everything reminds me of him: When Pavlov made his fist experiment on dogs he found that the dog could associate the sound of the bell with the meal time so that it salivates whenever the bell is rang. After the bell was rang several times without the meal being served the dog stopped salivating. In short, even if everything reminds you of a person, as long as you don’t give up to these thoughts they will fade away quickly as the time passes
•The effect of the media: You might ask yourself why didn’t the great memories fade yet even though the relationship ended long ago? Because you have been strengthening them by listening to sad music, romantic songs, remembering the person and keeping the small items that remind you of him at home. When one event reminds us of the other both events are said to be anchored. Anchors weaken and fade on their own unless they are strengthened. In my book How to get over anyone in few days I advised everyone to burn the old letters, eat the chocolates and get rid of the gifts if they always remind them of their old relationships
•The horrible feelings people get after breakups: One of the main reasons people fail to get over someone is the bad feelings they get after breakups however if you knew that most of these bad feelings are not by any means related to the person you loved you will get over him easily!! Your hurt Ego, your worries about the future, your loneliness, losing an intimate partner who used to listen to you and losing a good pain killer are all factors that can make you feel bad after a breakup and that are not related to the person you loved but to your own personal problems
Based on the previous facts here are some advice that will surely help you get over anyone quickly:
•Tell your subconscious mind that its over: In my article the anatomy of acceptance I explained how acceptance never happens before hope is completely lost. We do accept the death of the loved ones because we become convinced that they will never come back. In order to forget someone you must insist on hearing from him that it’s impossible to get back together. You should even attend his wedding if you can in order to let your subconscious mind believe that its over.
•He was the one and there will be another one: there are lots of "ones" awaiting you out there but its just the effect of the media programming that made you believe that you won’t find someone else like him. Yes you might not find the same exact person again but you can surely find someone better!! (someone who matches more conditions of your subconscious criteria)
•Stop bargaining: If you kept going to the same places you used to go to together, kept listening to sad songs or kept day dreaming then you are sending clear messages to your subconscious mind that you still have hope!! As long as hope is there acceptance will never happen. If he bought you a chocolate when you were together then Eat it now to prove to your mind that its over!!
•Was it love addiction?: if you are like the majority who seek relationships to get over other personal problems like loneliness, lack of confidence or depression then its time to fix your flaws and deal with these personal problems so that you don’t fall in love with a person just to feel good instead of falling in love with him because you really like him
We can summarize all of the previous advice into few lines, the main reason people never recover from breakups quickly is that they have acquired false beliefs that were fed to them by the media. As time passes they keep strengthening these beliefs through incorrect acts and that’s why they never recover quickly.
Correct your beliefs, stop strengthening the memories and as a result they will dry and fall just like an old leaf. Getting over someone is easy but you need to do it the right way.
sue_0684 posted on 18-3-2013 11:02 AM
aishh...semalam mkn belacan dgn sayur kg jer sbb sy ni org kg jah..
tp buleyyy twist ikut situa ...
Sue,
back to our discussion....
akk nk highlight few things bila akk duk go through semua problemo2 centa & jodoh ni
1. kita pompuan ni banyak duk bagi 'alasan' bila face issue hati ni
2. bila dibagi suggestion & pendpt, slalu ckp pikir dulu..walhal suggestion tu boleh diikut serta merta pslnya yg bg suggestion tu dlm keadaan yg sgt waras.
3. lagi lama tindakan nk diambil, lagik lama kena menderita...
4.end of the day, sebenarnya kita yg tak tolong diri sendiri....
Honey_Inara posted on 18-3-2013 11:04 AM
Macehhh sgt sista......
Hope dpt la sy ringankan cket beban perasaan nie...
really appre ...
Dear,
Start to be positive in ur life, then u'll how lucky u are.
Berbaik sangka dgn dugaan Allah & start to take action.
No more tears....if you want to cry, then take 1 week to all out..then wake up & start to live ur life...
You have to learn LOVE urself 1st then only you will be love by others
saya dulu kawen lambat jugak..sama je, orang belum kawen ada masalah, org yg kawen pn ada masalah jugak..hargailah detik2 masa bujang seperti sekarang ni, sebab masa ni lah antara saat yg sgt seronok sebenarnya..boleh buat apa saje atau pergi kemana saja yg kita suka, tanpa perlu minta izin suami..
lagipun masa bujang ni lah masa nak berbakti pada emak ayah..kalau dah kawen nanti masa dan wang ringgit korang pun dah tak banyak utk allocate kpd dorang...kadang2 saya rasa member2 yg belum bertemu jodoh dalam thread ni jauh lebih beruntung dari para isteri kat luar sana yg bergelut dgn byk masalah mcm kat thread FD tu..
sakurahati posted on 18-3-2013 12:14 PM
saya dulu kawen lambat jugak..sama je, orang belum kawen ada masalah, org yg kawen pn ada masalah ju ...
kan..
aku rasa semua orang tak kira umo, gender, status..suma ada masalah dan dugaan.
cuma orang bujang ni, dugaannya sebab selalu kena tanya soalan kawen jer pun.
selain dr tu, enjoy jer hidup membujang ni.
sakurahati posted on 18-3-2013 12:14 PM
saya dulu kawen lambat jugak..sama je, orang belum kawen ada masalah, org yg kawen pn ada masalah ju ...
btl tu sakura....
rasa diri ini beruntung sgt2 still single smpai hari ni...
ade mmber2 yg dah bersuami..ade anak2...selalu gak citer masalah dia org..
suami mengongkong lain..suami main kayu 3 lain..gantung x bertali..nafkah x berbayar...
tanggung anak sorang2....memang kesian...
apa2 pun skarang..adif teruskan hidup selagi bernyawa...
ape org nak kate...kate lah...bende tu semua dah x peduli dahh..
Post time 17-3-2013 07:02 PM
Post time 17-3-2013 07:33 PM
Author
cer sue panggil kengkawan yg stil ada difficulty nih...hope they all can get some input
